Family Cloths. What are they? They are reusable toilet paper. Think of an old t-shirt that has been hacked up into squares, kinda like toilet paper and there you go. Good old reusable t-shirt toilet paper.
In my house, they are known affectionately as “Butt Wipes.”
Why do I have “Butt Wipes?” Well, you see, about 2 years ago, my girlfriend, she gets on these kicks where she wants to reduce her carbon footprint, get more “green,” and “do her part” to save the planet or something like that. These butt wipes are one of those moments that she had. Now, in her defense, it’s not actually a bad idea. They are much more softer than any of the best store bought TP. They definitely, ahem, clean you better. And what’s better than free? We’ve saved a small fortune from not having to buy any toilet paper in over two years.
What do butt wipes have to do with my journey through the Red Pill? I’m getting there. Trust me, I have a destination in mind, and yes, it’s tied to the Red Pill.
The other day, my girlfriend and I are lounging around the house. I’m doing my laundry for the next week at work. I stopped into the bathroom to take a piss and realized that the butt wipes were about out.
The following conversation ensued:
Me: “The butt wipes are running low, looks like it’s time to do a load in the laundry.”
Her: “Okay good to know.”
Me: “If we don’t do them soon, like tonight, you’ll be wiping your ass with your hand tomorrow.”
Cue hysterical laughter from her. I do that for her sometimes. Make her laugh hysterically. It’s one of my “things.”
So what do butt wipes and my journey through the Red Pill have in common?
Only just this:
Be prepared in whatever you are going to do. Have a plan. Decide where it is you’re going to eat. Decide what it is you are going to eat. Have a plan for when shit hits the fan. And it will eventually. Decide what you are going to wear tomorrow. Plan for leaving early for work when the weather turns to shit. Plan for an alternate way home when the freeway is stacked bumper to bumper because of some dip shits having an accident and snarling everyone else up.
Have a plan for if/when she leaves you.
Have a plan for your money. How are you going to save it? How are you going to spend it? What are you saving for? What are you spending it on? Do you really need anymore shit in your life? In your house? Be prepared to ask yourself these questions. Be prepared to answer them as well.
If you are a Man and are reading this, your’s is to LEAD. If you don’t know where you are going, how will you know when you get there? If you don’t have a destination in mind, anywhere will do I guess. If you aren’t “driving the bus” of your life, someone else will be. Don’t be surprised when you end up somewhere you didn’t want to go.
Stop sleepwalking through your life. Make some plans, be prepared. Be adaptable enough to change on a dime if need be when shit gets sideways and goes south. Have a plan and also learn to improvise when necessary.
Be prepared for when she shit tests you. And she will.
Know what it is that you want. What do you want from your job? Your family? Yourself?
Be prepared. Have a plan.
Be prepared or you might be wiping your ass with your hand tomorrow.
1. Rule #1.STFU. Not everybody wants to hear what you are saying. Say less than needed. Don’t volunteer more than asked for.
2. There’s always someone bigger, better, and badder than you. You keep acting the fool, and one day someone WILL show up and kick your ass.
3. If you’re a man, you have to prove yourself. Showing up and expecting something for nothing isn’t going to happen. You have to earn your keep. Which leads to:
4. Stop being a bitch. You know what’s worse than listening to a woman cry and whine? A man crying and whining.
5. If you work for somebody else, you can either be a prick or a fuck up, but you can’t be both. If you are a fuck up, but you get along well with others, you can usually get a pass. If you are a prick, you better be bringing your A game. All the time, every time. Your shit had better be tight. Spotless and flawless. Perfect basically.
6. Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy? Usually the two don’t go hand in hand. Take your pick and then deal with it.
7. A husband that takes his wife’s last name isn’t a man. He’s soy.
8. Stop pedastalizing your women. They are just chicks. They do stupid shit too. Which brings me to the next point:
9. Stop walking around on eggshells around your women. Stop being afraid of pissing them off. What? Afraid you aren’t going to get that good, golden pussy? There’s other women, and pussy is pussy. It all feels the same physically when you are up inside them.
10. Being good at being a man isn’t the same thing as being a good man. One is amoral, the other is moral. When the shit hits the fan, it’s better to be good at being a man than being a good man. Morality is a luxury for the most part. When the perimeter is secure, then the moralizing can begin. (Jack Donovan)
11. Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. (Rollo Tomassi)
12. Give credit where credit is due.
13. Reality just IS. It doesn’t give a shit about what you think it “ought” to be.
14. Most people would rather hear pretty lies than the truth. Which brings me to the next point:
15. Everybody lies. Everyone. No exceptions. You may not lie to others, but somewhere at sometime, past, present, or the future, you either have or will lie to yourself. Don’t do that.
16. Happiness isn’t an end goal to be pursued. It’s a byproduct of you doing things. Stop chasing happiness as if it was a static state, it isn’t. It comes and goes.
17. Thoughts are just thoughts. Feelings are just feelings. Are you in control of them, or do they control you? Either way, the external world (i.e Reality) goes on just the same as before. See 13.
18. Stop giving a fuck so much. You only have so many fucks to give in this life, make them count, otherwise you’ll drive yourself, and everyone around you batshit crazy.
19. Men and women aren’t equal, they are complimentary to each other.
20. Don’t argue with idiots. You’ll only be wasting your breath and your time. You can’t fix crazy, and you can’t fix stupid.
I had a “Soul Mate” when I was 18. That’s her in the picture. She was my first love, she was my first sexual experience, she was my first in a lot of things. We dated for almost two years. I look back on that now and that time period is really very short, but back then, it felt like an eternity. Everything was good, until it wasn’t. When our relationship ended, I took it very well initially. I was in college at the time and there was plenty of new women to date and hopefully get laid by. As time and dating went on, I kept comparing the new women to her and it always ended badly for them. Little did I know what I was creating.
Fast forward about 6 months after the relationship ended and I thought I was hitting rock bottom. It didn’t help that I had a summer job that I hated and that the guys that I worked with would play country music constantly. A sad song of loss would come on the radio, and there I was, identifying with it. It got so bad that I actually called her one day and asked her if there was a chance that we could work things out. I remember very vividly to this very day what she said to me. “I’m sorry Rob, but that door is closed.” I literally heard it slam shut in my head.
A few months later the bottom in my life at the time truly fell out from under me. It was around Christmas, and I was home on winter break from college and my mother and I went to see a movie. I don’t remember the title right now, I do know it was a comedy that had Eddie Murphy in it. I think it was Coming to America, but I’m not sure. What I do remember is that something funny happened in the film and the whole audience was laughing, including me. My laughter kept going and going until I started to cry. My mother looked over at me and asked me what was wrong, and I told her, with tears running down my face, “I think I want to kill myself.”
Six months after the break up, the slide into depression began. It was stealthy and quiet at first. My comparing new women to my old flame didn’t help in the slightest. I know now that I created a fallacy about her and me. In my eyes, she was better and more beautiful than she really was. Our relationship was better than it had actually been. The sex was more amazing than anyone new. You get the idea.
I ended up getting help with my suicidal tendencies and my depression and got through it, obviously. The whole soul mate idea still lingered though. I really and genuinely thought that I would never meet another woman quite like the one I had had. To a degree that was and is true. No one is quite like her. But that doesn’t mean that there wasn’t others to come. I thought that I had lost my “soul mate” until another woman came along about two years after this first love of mine. She was pretty terrific in her own way, and guess what? The relationship worked until it didn’t, the sex was pretty amazing, and we experienced the usual things that couples experience. I learned then that there are a lot of women out there that will fit into my life just fine.
The point I’m getting to is this: There is no One.
ONEitis is paralysis. You cease to mature, you cease to move, you cease to be you.
There is no ONE. This is the soulmate myth. There are some good Ones and some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something. There are LOTS of ‘special someones’ out there for you, just ask the divorced/widowed person who’s remarried after their “soulmate” has died or moved on.
This is what trips people up about the soul-mate myth, it is this fantasy that we all at least in some way share an idealization of – that there is ONE perfect mate for each of us, and as soon as the planets align and fate takes it’s course we’ll know that we’re ‘intended’ for each other. And while this may make for a gratifying romantic comedy plot, it’s hardly a realistic way to plan your life. In fact it’s usually paralyzing.
Why am I talking about this? A friend of mine reached out to me via Instagram the other day, apparently she has been reading my blog. She had a question for me in regards to getting unstuck. She mentioned a past relationship that had imploded. I imagine that there are other areas of her life that she would like to work on as well, but this is the one that she came to me about.
I referred her to my post, 10 years from now, and I hope it helps her with not only her other stuff that is going on in her life, but with her failed relationship as well.
However, with that being said, I wanted to bring up a few things that I didn’t mention to her that involve relationships specifically. I didn’t have the time at that moment to talk about it with her, so I’m going to bring it up here.
M, I have no idea as to why you guys didn’t work out except for the little tiny bit that you divulged to me, I’m certain that there is a lot more to that story, and I’m willing to listen to your take on it, if and when you ever decide that you want to share that with me. That being said, you have to own up to your part of it. You have to look really close and honestly at yourself. Where could you have done better by him? What needs could you have fulfilled for him better? I’m positive that he deserves some of the blame for the failing here as well, but I’m not talking with him, I’m talking with you. What could you have done differently? We men, we are fairly simple in most respects. We don’t really care what you do for a living, just so long as you have a means to help support yourself. We don’t care what goals you have for the most part, just as long as you have goals and that there is a way that we can help you achieve them without it just being about money.
Men DO. That’s what we are hard-wired for. We are problem solvers. In a way, we need to be needed. If there isn’t something that we as men can do, there’s no real point in us sticking around. Were you too independent? Were you too boisterous in your opinions of how things “should” be? You mentioned that your ex was a recovering “nice guy.” I know all about that as I’m one myself. Did you say anything to him like, “You should do this, or you should do that?” That’ll get his defenses up in a heartbeat. That will get him to push back hard. I know, I’ve been there.
Were you too “clingy?” Did you want to spend every waking moment with him, and did you? Sometimes men need time for themselves and sometimes they need time to do stuff with other men. When a man wants to spend time alone or with other men, trust me, it’s not a reflection on you. You have nothing to do with it.
Did you change your appearance? While a change of clothes or a new hairstyle won’t be the be-all-end-all of a relationship, it can add to the demise of it. Any radical change in appearance can cause a man to start questioning things. I know about this as well. My ex-wife chopped off her hair at one point and it gave me pause. There were many other things that were not working in my marriage, this didn’t help. I know it might sound and seem shallow, but there it is.
So what do you do now? You move on as best you can. You compare yourself to you only. Are you better today than you were yesterday? That’s what matters. It doesn’t matter what’s going on in other people’s lives. It doesn’t matter if your ex hit the ground running and never looked back, it doesn’t matter if he is sitting in a room with a bottle in one hand and a gun in the other. All that matters for you to get unstuck is you. That means taking a really good, hard look at yourself. Change the things you can, little by little, one by one, day by day.
This also means you need to get back out there and start dating again. The fastest way to get over somebody is to meet somebody new. I know that’s what has worked for me, every time.
When it comes to meeting someone new, look not only for what they bring to the table, look for what YOU have to offer as well. Are you a good cook? Are you a good listener? Are you a good lay? Crude question, but it’s important. A really good woman will make a man’s dick hard, not his life. What value can you add to his life? What do you have to offer? I know you have kept in shape and that will put you miles ahead of the competition. Keep doing that.
Whatever you do, you actually need to DO IT. Talking about it for a short time is okay, but it won’t solve the problem. You’re going to have to take action. You’re going to have to be honest with yourself.
Remember: There is no One. Just like there are some good women, some great women, and some horrible women out there, there are some good men, there are some great men, and there are some bad men, but there is no One.
There’s also a fuck-ton of books, dvd’s, video’s, YouTube channels, online courses, and coaching out there.
A lot of people are capitalizing and making money on the term that is known as the Red Pill. Nothing wrong with that. Just be careful what you spend your time and money on. Much of it is fantastic. There’s even a subreddit that deals in it.
Something that Rollo Tomassi of the The Rational Male has said, and I’m going to shorten it and paraphrase it a little bit is this: If someone is offering you a “prescription” or a “12 step program”, they are trying to sell you something. Not all men are created equal. Not all systems and programs are going to work for everyone. Some guy on the internet is telling you that “You too can have any woman of your dreams! Looks, age, and money doesn’t matter!” You are being sold something. Chances are it’s bullshit. Looks matter. Your age CAN matter. Money CAN matter.
Unplugging from the matrix is hard. I won’t bullshit you. You will backslide. You will get complacent. You’ll get lazy and comfortable. You’ll want to fall back asleep and go back to your dreams and ideals of how things “ought” to be. You’ll assume that because you view reality a certain way, that that is how it is. It’s not. Reality just IS. It doesn’t give a shit what you think and it’s not going to be the way you think it ought to be.
I’m including a link to a video:
This video is about 2 hours and 25 minutes long. It’s not short. It’s worth the time to watch as these guys talk about “Purple Pill” coaches and the dangers, yes dangers, of getting sucked in to systems and programs that appear to help in unplugging, but can actually set you up for dependency on the system in question, or actually keep you in a Blue Pill ideal state. It can save you a lot of time, money, and heartache.
Classic literature. What is it? According to standard definition, classic literature is:
a) Belonging to the highest rank or class.
b) Having lasting significance or worth; enduring.
c) Serving as the established model or standard.
A lot of men, both young and old these days, are lost. They are looking for direction. They are looking for ways to improve themselves. They are looking for meaning in their lives.
I am no expert, I am no “guru.” I do have experience for what has helped me and what has worked for me. Some of that literature that has helped me I’ve already mentioned in this post and on this page. Those books are books that have been critical in helping me who I have become today. Those books have helped me get through some dark times, and they have helped me understand the ways of the world that we live in.
Here I would like to present to you another list of books. This list would be considered some of the classics of the world. These books are great because they are timeless. The authors speak to us through the ages. Their wisdom and insights are just as meaningful now, if not more so, than when they were written.
Just because these were written many years ago, sometimes centuries, doesn’t lessen their impact. In fact, much of the knowledge these books contain is more powerful now than much contemporary literature.
As you’ll notice, some of the works are non-fiction, and some of them are fiction. It doesn’t make the messages any less if the literature is fiction. In some cases, it makes the message that much more powerful. Truth is stranger than fiction and all of that.
You are looking for answers? You are seeking knowledge? Start with the masters and the originals.
These recommendations are of my own opinion, do with that what you will.
This screenshot is what my significant other sent me the other day. Apparently, she was ratted out for using her phone while working when her company policy explicitly prohibits this. Of course, everybody at her work uses their phones while working. It’s one of those company policies that everyone pays lip service to until they need to use it to throw someone else under the bus. This was her first time, at least at this job, and as far as I know, that she has been targeted by somebody (or multiple somebody’s) at her work. Like you can see in the screenshot, she’s frustrated because she’s not sure who did it. I told her later that she’s got enemies that she didn’t know about and they haven’t revealed themselves.
Your co-worker’s aren’t your friends.
You may get along with them. You may joke around with them and have a few laughs. You may genuinely enjoy their company and find pleasure working alongside them. They aren’t your friends though.
Everything you do with them and around them is great and fine and funny, until it isn’t. Keep in mind that anything you say and do around your co-workers can, and most likely, will be used against you. Our modern corporate culture virtually guarantees this. Ratting out your fellow “team mates” is encouraged. Think of all those mandatory sexual harassment trainings that you’ve received. Not only should you report to management anything that happens to you, you should also report anything that you witness happening to someone else. You overhear a conversation between a couple of other co-workers that offends you? Report it. You see someone touching someone else in a manner that you consider inappropriate? Go to HR. In fact, if you don’t, you could be the one in trouble.
Several years ago, I worked with a guy who liked to hug the female bank tellers at the bank that we serviced. From what I could tell, it didn’t seem to bother these women. Until it did. One day I get called into the general manager’s office. He’s got my co-worker sitting there, and the lady who is the head of HR, standing there. Needless to say, it was a “closed door” meeting. The bank had called our business and apparently the women were in an uproar about my co-worker hugging the tellers, and my management was going to get to the bottom of it.
Fast forward a little bit: We both got suspended, with pay, until the investigation was completed. That was a week off for me. When I got the call to come back in, I was fairly certain that I was going to lose my job. The company took sexual harassment claims very seriously. They had a zero tolerance policy towards it. When I came back in, I found out that my co-worker was let go and my suspension with pay became a suspension without pay.
Why was that? Because of guilt by association, and the fact that I didn’t snitch my co-worker out. I was there on the days that he hugged the tellers, I witnessed him do it. I didn’t agree with him hugging the bank tellers, it’s definitely something I wouldn’t have done. However, it seemed that the tellers were fine with it. I’m not the morality police. It wasn’t in my job description to keep an eye on him and hold his hand. He’s a grown man. And I’m not a rat. This man was the eyes in the back of my head. While we would be out in the public, delivering money to banks, he was my protector, and I was his. He made a stupid mistake, he got too friendly. He thought “we (the tellers) were all friends.”
This wasn’t the first time that I’ve been in the cross-hairs of a fellow employee at work. I could give more examples, but I’m sure you get the point, and if you don’t, you will eventually.
With all of that in mind, here are my “7 rules” for surviving at work:
Trust No One. Your co-worker’s aren’t your friends. Everything is fine until it isn’t.
Keep a Low Profile. Keep your head down. Watch what you say and what you do. The walls have eyes and ears. Don’t talk about anything, and I mean literally, anything about your personal life. Don’t stare at the hot co-worker chick with the nice rack and the nice ass as she walks by. She may not see you staring, but somebody else will. And they will be offended, be sure of it. Don’t talk about sex, religion, and do not ever engage in politics. Not at this point in time anyways. My co-worker’s have no idea if I’m married, if I have children, or what I do in my spare time. It’s none of their business. If it sounds like I’m describing a war-zone, it’s because I am.
As curious as you may be, don’t ask your co-worker’s personal questions. See rule number two. If you do, you are opening the door to them reciprocating and asking you personal questions. That way leads to Pandora’s Box. Just don’t do it.
Remain calm at all times. Take your frustration out at the gym. Take it out at the gun range. Take it out anywhere except at work. In today’s world of safe spaces, triggers, and political correctness, you don’t want to be seen as anything other than stable and dependable. Smile and nod.
Remember why it is that you work where you do and for whom you do. You are there to get paid. You may enjoy your work and even have a passion for it. I hope you do. But you are their to get paid first. I like all of my co-worker’s just fine and wish them no ill-will, but I don’t hang out with them once it’s time to leave. I’m there to get paid and do a job, not to be friends.
Keep your conversation with female co-workers to the absolute minimum. Talking about the weather is fine. Conversation that entails work is essential of course, that’s part of why you are there. Avoid partaking in gossip at all costs. It’s perfectly ok to listen to gossip, you will have the pulse of the office, so to speak. Do not participate in gossip. Ever. It can and will blow up in your face one day.
Do not apologize. If you are called out on something, if you get called into the office for some offense, however real or imaginary, do not apologize. Apologies are admissions of guilt and will be used as ammunition against you.
If it sounds like I’m being extreme, I am. Just because your not paranoid doesn’t mean that they aren’t out to get you. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve spent almost all of my working life in the corporate world and I’ve had far more enjoyable encounters than not, and I’ve been able to thrive and make a good living at what I do. You can too if you take my advice and keep those pointers in mind.
One last thing: In today’s world of #MeToo and #TimesUp, if you are a man, it would be in your best interest if you have a witness, preferably another man, present when dealing with your female co-worker’s. Minimize one-on-one exposure if you possibly can. Definitely do not have closed door talks with a female co-worker. It could turn into a “he said/she said” situation down the road, and right now whatever “she said,” will be right and true, and whatever you say will be wrong and false.
Keep this in mind as well: When dealing with office politics and your co-workers, if you don’t know who the mark is, you’re the mark.
My side job is reading Tarot cards for fun and profit. Most of my clients are women with a handful of men. Almost all of them want to know what’s going to happen in their futures. I don’t need to read cards, a crystal ball, or any other thing that is “woo-woo” to tell you your future.
What are you doing right now? (Besides reading this blog post.) What were you doing an hour ago? A day ago? A week ago? A month ago? A year ago? 5 years ago? 10 years ago?
Whatever you have been doing, that’s most likely what you are going to be doing in the future. That’s most likely what you are going to be doing in 10 years from now. Have you been living moment to moment, not thinking about your future? I’ve done it. It got me into a place that I didn’t want to be in. Overweight, unhappy, miserable, health on the verge of falling apart, eating junk food. That was me 10 years ago. A marriage that I settled for. A job I settled for. Real mediocre, real bland, real boring.
I woke up a couple years back because I could see my future. And it was more of the fucking same.I was going to keep on gaining weight, I was going to keep on eating the junk, I was going to still be “stuck” in a miserable marriage that was slowing killing me day by day, both emotionally and financially. I could see the ship sinking. I could see that there was no way to “save it.” My ex was perfectly content to eat, watch shit tv, not work, and spend my money on shit we didn’t need. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame her in the entirety. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, it was all my fault. I could have spoken up sooner, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to “rock the boat.” I could have gotten a better paying job, but I didn’t because I was comfortable. lazy.
Like I said at the beginning of this post, I can see your future. Do you like to kick back and chill? More of the same for you. Do you like to drink, drug, and party? More of the same for you. Do you like to eat a bunch of shit? More of the same. I can see where you are going to be 10 years from now if this is your lifestyle. Your mental, physical, and emotional health are going to be in the toilet. If you are in a relationship now, it will be a different relationship 10 years from now. You’ll probably both be overweight with health issues, and probably pretty unhappy with yourselves and each other. If your partner is healthier and in better shape than you? You won’t have that relationship for long, guaranteed. And you know what else I can see in all of this? It’s all your fault. Every last bit of it. And you deserve it. Brutal I know. But I’m not here to tell you pretty little lies. I’m here to give you a dose of the truth.
While all of this can be your life 10 years from now, it doesn’t have to be. You can change it. It all starts with you asking a simple couple of questions. “Where do I see myself 10 years from now? Where do I want to be 10 years from now?” Be honest with yourself when you ask those questions. If you are leading a shit life now, it’s NOT going to magically change just because you asked a question.Wishing your life was different is the height of “magical thinking.” Wishing isn’t going to be enough. Visualizing is a good start, but when it comes right down to it, you’re going to have to get up off your ass and do something about it. Be honest with your answers. And then do something.
Get a membership and hit the gym if you are out of shape and fat. Ladies, you and I both know that men are highly visual. You want hot guys? Better become a hot woman. Men? I didn’t forget about you either. Just because women aren’t as visually stimulated as we are doesn’t mean you get a pass. Looks count.
Are you up to your ass in debt? Get that shit handled. Pay down your bills. Cut the fat in your budget. Get a cheaper cell phone plan, drop your cable provider, get a cheaper car, move into a cheaper place, ask for a raise or get a higher paying job, or work 2 jobs, or 3 jobs if necessary; sell a bunch of your shit that you aren’t using and don’t need. Stop buying some much goddamn stuff. All that shit you “think you need?” You don’t. Besides, it won’t fill that gaping hole that is inside of you. Only working on yourself can do that.
If the relationship you are in is making you absolutely miserable, get out of it. Seriously. Dump the dead-weight and move on. It will be better for all parties in the long run.
“But Rob! That’s so flippant and easy for you to say!” You’re right it is. Consider this though. Where you are at right now is your fault, you got yourself there, whether from poor choices and bad decisions, sitting around waiting for shit to “just happen,” letting other people call the shots, or whatever other excuse you come up with. Argue enough for your limitations and sure enough, they are yours.
I owned my shit and did something about it. I lost a bunch of weight, I got a better paying job that is much less stressful. I got divorced. I cleaned out a ton of shit I didn’t need and was just hoarding. I cut a bunch of the bills out of my budget, I paid off a ton of debt and am in the process of finishing that up. I’m eating healthier, I’m working out. I’m not perfect, and neither are you. I don’t try to be anymore. I’ve still got work to do, and I’ve still got more shit to handle. But guess what? I’m handling it. I’m doing something about it. And I can see where I’m going to be 10 years from now.
The choice is yours. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? What’s it going to take to get you there?
I’ve been a voracious reader all of my life, and I’ve read pretty much every genre out there at some point. My favorite “genre” if you will, has been non-fiction and “self improvement.” Why do I put self improvement in quotes? Because there are a TON of books out there that are absolute time wasting trash at worst, and a scarce few of golden nuggets surrounded by filler and fluff at best.
However, I’ve found a few books that are truly worth the price and the time to read. I’ve created a Recommended Reading List that has those books on it. I have read each and every one of those books from cover to cover, and some of them I have read multiple times. A few of them, (The Rational Male series) I not only have read multiple times, but I also have them in multiple formats. Paperback, electronic, and audio versions. Yes, they are that good.
This list is by no means exhaustive, and I by no means claim to be an authority on what to read and that it will work for all readers all of the time. I’ve found that they have worked for me, and if you are anything like me, they will probably work for you too. I’ll continue to add to this list as time goes on and as I keep reading more literature out there. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to let me know. I’ll check it out and if I find value in it, I’ll add it to the list.
Each book is worth the read as a man, each book is worth the time. There is very little if any filler in each of them. They are all gold. Read them. Then read them again. Then give a copy of them to someone you know who could benefit from them. You just might save a life. I’m not kidding about this. I’m serious as cancer or a heart attack when I say this.
The life you save just might be someone you care deeply about, or it might be your own.
What is your purpose? What are you here for? What are you here to do?
As men, we are purpose driven, we have goals, we have desires, we have what we like to call our “destiny.” I’m seeing a lot of men right now that have no purpose in their lives. They are adrift. They are “going through the motions.” They are “wandering in the desert.” They are lost.
Video games, porn, junk food, drugs, mindless sex. These are symptoms of lack of purpose. I’m not against any of these things per se, but if that’s all you are finding yourself doing more often than not, then you probably lack purpose, your life lacks meaning. When your life lacks purpose or meaning, then nothing matters. Nihilism can get a foothold. I know, I’ve been there. One thing I’ve found out, if you keep looking outside yourself to others for purpose, you’ll find it; it won’t be your purpose, it’ll be their’s. Is that a good thing? Is that what you want? Don’t be surprised when you let someone else drive the bus that you’ll end up in a different destination than what you thought or wanted. But hell, if you had no destination in mind at all, then anywhere is good I guess. Or is it?
The quest for purpose isn’t outside of you, it’s inside of you. Your purpose is for you to find out, it’s your’s to discover. Your purpose will most likely be different from mine.
Keep this one in mind at all times: You are not “lost.” You don’t need to “find yourself.” You are here! Yours isn’t to find yourself, it’s to CREATE YOURSELF. You create your purpose. You create it now, inside you. You create it everyday.
Men are the creators. Men are the builders. Men have built the empires. Men created the technology that we use. You as a man are the creator, the builder. Create your purpose, create your reality. Figure out what it is that you want, figure out what it is that you desire, then GO DO IT.
Feminism and people on the “Left” are bat-shit crazy. That’s all I can think about it. First it was the accusations of #MeToo. Men in entertainment and politics being called out for sexual harassment and indiscretions from time periods of days, weeks, months, and even years ago. Men being crucified in the court of social media with no due process, no evidence, nothing but an accusation. Men losing their jobs and their livelihoods over words. If you questioned it or go against it, you are screamed and shamed into silence. Then came #TimesUp.
Oprah and the gang of Hollywood Elites decided to carry the momentum to the next level. They put everyone on notice, this shit isn’t going to fly anymore.
The men of industry and business have heard loud and clear ladies. Men are no longer having one on one meetings with female co-workers. Businesses are no longer having opposite sex co-workers share cabs. Some businesses are even going so far as to not allow opposite sex co-workers stay at the same hotel/motel while on business trips. All because of the witch hunt known as #MeToo. I don’t blame those men or those businesses. The risks are too great.
So feminists have screamed #MeToo from the tops of their lungs and men are getting burned because of it, and now that those same men, and other’s like them have decided to slow down and approach with caution, we are seeing those same feminist’s screaming #MentorHer! Man up and #MentorHer!
Feminists, listen up. This is the world you wanted. This is the world you get. This is the world you deserve. Men are either the oppressive, evil, patriarchy that needs to be smashed and destroyed, or we are the men who compliment you throughout our lives. We are the “other half” so to speak. You can’t shame and then plead for help. You can’t screech and then cry. You can’t have it both ways.
Here’s a quote from Watchmen that is poignant and fitting:
“Roschach’s Journal: October 12th, 1985
Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face.
The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown.
The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll look down and whisper “No.”