Something I read yesterday really struck a chord with me. It talked about Scorched Earth. Now this one was related to war, but in the end of a marriage, in the end of a relationship, aren’t they not wars too?
Too many men are afraid of pissing off their women. Too many men are afraid of “losing half.”
If your wants and needs are second to her’s because society brainwashed you into thinking that is the way it is supposed to be, and you don’t get your needs met, what’s the point of sticking it out? What’s the point of continuing? Doing it “for the kids?” You’ll teach them that is what a healthy relationship looks like. Then they will go out and seek that same type of relationship, or they will create it if they can’t find it.
Staying together because of the kids is a bad idea.
If the relationship is ending, kill it. Let it end. Be done with it. Even if it means “losing half.” You have the ability as a man to go out and make or create more wealth, more money. You’ll be able to go out and have your needs met by someone willing and able to meet your needs. Trust me, they are out there. There are women out there right now ready and willing to meet your needs. Go and find them.
Stop worrying about “losing half.” The courts are stacked against you? You knew that already and you married her anyway.
If your going to get divorced and she is the one who filed and she is the one who wants out, go scorched earth. Burn it all. Worried that she is going to be “entitled” to half your wealth? Half of nothing is nothing. Spend every last cent you have. Spend it fighting her if you want. Spend it on wine, women, and song. Go have adventures. Do something with your money before she gets it. You’ll always be able to make more down the road.
She’ll be a single mother looking for a chump to finance her lifestyle. Remember, half of nothing is nothing.
We as men could fare better in life if we took the scorched earth policy to many things. I’ve found there is nothing so powerful as saying, “Fuck it, let’s see what happens.” Or “fuck it, let’s see what you got. Bring it on.”
Most men and women today don’t have the stomach or the balls to go scorched earth. You’ll find out what you are capable of and it can free you if you do. It did for me.
When I was first getting divorced, I played nice with my ex-wife. I didn’t want to rock the boat. I wanted that waiting period to go smoothly, quickly, and as painlessly as possible.
It didn’t go that way for some of it. All the time I was answering the phone, listening to her blame me for everything. All the time it was her sob story about “poor her,” and how I left her in poverty even though she was the one who chose to move across the country to start over.
It was not enough that I gave her money and a car and let her take whatever she wanted out of the house to go with her. She would call and cry and commiserate about how hard it was, and then she would hit me up for more money.
She would probably being doing that to this day if I had allowed it to carry on. But I didn’t. You see, one day, she did me a huge favor. Probably the biggest favor of all, now that I look back on it.
She called up one day and she was nice and civil at first. That’s how all the phone calls started. But then she mentioned the magic word…
She started saying that she had talked to some legal outfit about how she could be entitled to alimony even though we had both agreed in the divorce filing that no alimony would be claimed by either party. She never said that she was going for alimony, but she insinuated it. She hinted at it.
That was it for me. I told her if that was what she wanted, bring it on. I would spend every last cent that I had fighting her. And when that money ran out, I would beg, borrow, or steal whatever money I needed to continue that fight. Why? Because fuck her, that’s why.
That’s scorched earth.
I said I would do it and I meant it. It was the most liberating feeling I have ever experienced. Then I ended the call with her and contacted an attorney to find out what rights I had and what rights she had. I needed to know what to prepare for in case she actually wanted to follow through on her not so veiled threat.
Turns out that if she wanted to fight, she would ultimately have to come back to where I live to do it. Since the divorce was filed here and she was a resident here at the time, she would have to come back and have her day in court. All on her own dime.
That didn’t happen.
You really can’t lose when you have nothing to lose.
It’s not about, do better, or be better. Sometimes it’s about Fuck It. Let the shit fall where it may and let’s see what happens.
If she is the one holding the match, you can be the one holding the gasoline.