Mr. Skelton Elton and I went out again on Saturday night. We hit a couple of different bar/clubs, had a few drinks, and had a great time.
One area that I’m really “rusty” in is my night game. I haven’t gone clubbing in years, and even going to the occasional bar in the past, I’ve always had women with me, or it was a night with the guys, and there were few to no women around. Getting back out there with Skelton is good for him and for me as well. If you want to pick up women, it’s better in my opinion, to be able to meet them in all sorts of environments. Sure, it’s best when you can find a niche of your own to fish in, it will get you the best results overall, but it’s good to be able to move in any environment.
One thing I’ve learned over the years is to be open to pretty much anything happening at any time. I’ve learned to just “roll with it.”
Just “rolling with it” is when you’re out on the dance floor, moving to the music, and a woman slides up next to you, and starts to dance. Slide in to her, put your arms around her, and pull her in. Go all in. It’s a yes until it’s a no, that’s one that Vincent mentioned to me when I first met him and it’s a good mentality to have. It’s a yes until it’s a no.
When I first met my ex-wife years ago, she knew a little about my past. I guess it preceded me. She called the women that I had met, my “strange women.” These were the women that I met at bars and clubs, and also on the street. These were the women that I took home rapidly. You can think and say what you want about these women, that they were “low hanging fruit,” or that they were “easy,” or whatever you want. Maybe they were, but I don’t think they were. They were just women. They were women doing what women do. They were out looking for an adventure, looking to have fun and have a good time, and I was the guy willing to give them that adventure and that good time. Nothing more, nothing less.
I had to be flexible and adaptable and open to whatever would show up though. Whether I would only mingle with those women for 5 minutes, 5 hours, 5 days, 5 weeks, 5 months or even 5 years, it didn’t matter to me. It was just living in that moment, being in the present, and being open to whatever without having a whole lot of expectations.
It’s a yes until it’s a no.
Be open to whatever shows up.
Be open to the idea that whatever does show up for you, that it’s normal. And not only that it’s normal, but it’s basically “business as usual.” It happens all the time. It’s just another day in your amazing life.
When whatever shows up in your life is normal and business as usual, and it’s a yes until it’s a no, you lead from there. Taking her hand and leading her where you want to go, whether it’s on the dance floor, or it’s taking her back to your home, that’s normal and it’s business as usual. Just roll with it.
“Dirty dancing” with a woman and you don’t even know her name? That’s normal. Kissing her on the same dance floor after only dancing with her for a short time? That’s normal. Taking her somewhere else and ultimately ending up in bed with her that same night? That’s normal. It’s a yes until it’s a no. It’s business as usual. It’s no big deal. It’s just another day in your life. Just roll with it. Don’t overthink it. Just roll with it. All of it is normal. All of it is expected, it’s just who you are and what you do.
And if it goes to a no? That’s no big deal either. It happens. No need to overthink that one either. No need to beat yourself up. Just roll with that too. Make a mental note about it, and then move on. Next woman, next dance, next place. Same amazing life though. She decided that it’s a no for whatever reason? Roll with it. It’s a no from her, but there’s another woman right behind her that it’s a yes until it’s a no. Keep at it and keep rolling.
Whatever you believe is normal in your life is what you will see and what you will get. It’s what you will be open to. If you think women are strange, mystical unicorns that are unfathomable, and therefore unapproachable, that’s what you will see and what you will get. If you think that they are lusty, goofy, funny, insecure creatures that are just as confused and worried about themselves as you are about you, that’s what you will get. My question to you is: which one is more approachable? The mystical and the unknown one? Or the lusty, goofy, confused one? Which one do you think you would be able to relate to?
As a related aside, someone sent me a link which goes far more indepth as to what I’m speaking about here, and it gives some actual steps to getting through it and over it.