I have seen the argument on Twitter, it comes and it goes. “Coffee vs Drinks.” Guys line up on both sides of the argument, extolling the virtues and benefits of one over the other. I’m pretty damn sure I have covered this particular subject before, but I’ll be damned if I can’t find the link to the post. Maybe I just talked about it on Twitter or a livestream. Anyways, here goes:
If I have to choose, I’ll take drinks over coffee any day of the week. I’ve gone on enough coffee dates and coffee meet ups and every one of them felt like a job interview to me. Awkward, too many questions, not enough of “her, in her body.”
When I meet a new woman, I always suggest the initial meet up happen over drinks. Why? Because it tells me a lot about her, right from the get-go. Is she a drinker? Does she not drink? If she doesn’t drink, why doesn’t she? If she is in recovery, that’s going to be a problem for me. I’m not giving up something that gives me pleasure, but I also don’t want to be the catalyst for her to have a relapse either. Maybe she chooses not to drink for religious reasons. Maybe she chooses not to drink because of a particular lifestyle. That’s fine, but it most likely won’t be compatible with my lifestyle.
But what if she’s a drinker? How much does she drink? Is she an alcoholic? Does she lose control and stir up drama in a public place, like a bar? Does she talk shit and start fights? Is she so out of control that she either passes out or ends up in the restroom, puking her guts out in the toilet? I have seen all of these behaviors. I don’t have time for that shit. I’m not a babysitter, and I’m not her babysitter specifically. I also won’t white knight for her either. She wants to start shit, she can finish it. Welcome to equality.
I do like a woman that enjoys a drink or two or three, though. It shows me that she is open to tingles. It loosens her tongue (which can be a good or a bad thing) and it tends to put her in a…. Mood. If she wasn’t already in that mood. It lets me know that she isn’t uptight, and that’s a big thing for me. Huge, actually.
I’ve dated and had sex and relationships with enough women now to know that I don’t do uptight. Can’t stand it actually. Too much bullshit and too many “rules.” I have only one rule. There are no rules.
Alcohol has been called a “Social Lubricant” for a reason. Even Jerry Seinfeld brought it up in an episode. “How do all the ugly people get together, Jerry?” “Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.” That’s not an exact quote, but you get the idea. And he’s not wrong.
“Beer goggles” are a thing. Been there, done that. But so did she.
Rian Stone called alcohol a “liquid panty remover.” He’s definitely not wrong. It is. Drinks are more conducive to sex vs coffee and a questionnaire about “what do you bring to the table.”
I get it. The guys who typically advocate against drinks will usually say something about “being sharp and on top of their game.” Or it’s something about consent. I understand that as well. I don’t want to go down a rabbit hole about consent here, so I’ll say this:
I’ve never had a woman have sex with me who later regretted it and filed rape charges. Never. She’s a grown ass woman who has agency and autonomy. Stop reading headlines on the internet. The reason those headlines exist is because they are the outlier. They are so far from the norm as to be exceptional. Do you want to go through being afraid of a possibility instead of a probability? Or do you want to see her “let her hair down?”
Drinks make my meet ups so much more interesting. I get to see how she handles her alcohol. I get to see her squirm in her seat. I get to see her as she becomes uncensored. I get to see her. And from there I can decide if she’s “good enough,” or not.
Live a little, why don’t you? You’re not going to make it off this rock alive, so you might as well enjoy your time while you’re here. And if you are enjoying yourself, do you know what? She’ll take her cue from you and she’ll enjoy herself too. And who knows? If you don’t step on your dick, you just might get laid.