Teriyaki

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Yes, we are doing what you think we are doing.

This is “Teriyaki.” I call her that because of an inside joke between us. I met her back in July of this year. It all started with this text:

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The text that started it all.

It’s been a lot of fun hanging around her and getting to know her, and I can’t complain about the sex, there’s been plenty of it, and she’s pretty open-minded about trying and doing new and different things.

The woman has gone through some things in her life, some of them are totally out of her control, because sometimes shit just does happen, and some of the things are her doing. Watching her as she talks about those things, what she has learned about those things and herself, I think she’s seriously wanting to change her life around compared to when she was much younger. Let’s just say that her actions are speaking louder than her words when it comes to cleaning her life up.

I’m bringing her up today because of a post that I read earlier. Madd Monk is a blog that I follow and I read when he posts something. I haven’t read all of his stuff yet, but from what I gather, he’s a younger guy who got divorced, took the Red Pill, has been owning his shit, and has been learning game and spinning plates to one degree or another. I like reading his blog because he’s actually a really good writer. I feel like I’m right there, listening to him say what he’s got to say. His blog is mostly about his different adventures with the different women that he’s met over the last several months and how he feels about them and about himself. He’s definitely a guy who is blogging his own personal journey with women.

On one of his latest posts, he had this to say:

I genuinely enjoy Midwest’s [one of his girls -ed.] company whether we’re having sex or not. That’s enough for me to keep her around. I don’t feel drained when I’m around her.

I get where he’s coming from. While I enjoy random, casual sex with what my ex-wife referred to as my “strange women,” I also enjoy them for their company. I don’t always have to have sex, and sometimes I’m just not in the mood, although it doesn’t take much for me to get in the mood. That’s one of many things that I like about Teriyaki. We don’t just have sex. We have conversations and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. She’s actually fun to be around.

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Nipple Alert

One of the things that I noticed pretty early on with her is that she is comfortable with silence. She doesn’t feel the need to fill up the empty space between us with a lot of conversation and sound. When I’m working on something like a video or a blog post, she’s perfectly content to do her own thing. She doesn’t need constant communication and constant talk. Just being in some form of proximity is good enough for her.

I like that about her. When I was married, my ex-wife couldn’t stand silence and so she constantly talked. She once told me, “There wasn’t an unspoken thought in her head,” and she wasn’t kidding. Having to constantly listen and keep track of all the babble that came out of that woman’s mouth was exhausting to say the least. I tried for a while, but eventually gave up as it became too much for me to keep track of everything going on in my own head, let alone her head. The only time that my ex-wife would shut up was when one of her favorite TV shows was on. Then at least I wouldn’t have to hear her ramble on about whatever was rattling around in her head. Until it was commercial time, then let the onslaught commence. That’s how it was for the entire duration of our marriage.

My ex-girlfriend was good with silence and was good with doing her own thing too. I didn’t have to listen and keep up with every little thought that ran around in her head. Teriyaki is no different. I guess I’m doing something “right.” It goes to show that you can teach an old dog new tricks.

My whole point of writing this post isn’t to wax poetically about Teriyaki, but it is to say that I know that I look for more than “just sex.” I may not be looking for monogamy and “playing house,” and while a fast “pump and dump” is nice on occasion, I mostly look for a stronger connection than just a sexual one. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I sometimes wonder if one of the reasons that guys will readily and willingly jump into monogamy and commitment isn’t just because of thirst and the availability of easy sex, but is also because they sometimes stumble upon someone, at least early on, who they genuinely enjoy being around, or they think that they enjoy being around. Someone that they can have a conversation and do stuff with as well as have sex with.

I’m pretty sure that this is the case to one degree or another, but I felt it needed to be said. Sometimes the guys on the internet get so caught up in “only banging 9’s and 10’s” and what is or isn’t “Alpha,” and painting green lines on pictures, and pointing out that the more you lean, the bigger simp you are, that they forget why they are there.

It isn’t about leaning or not leaning, it isn’t about what is or isn’t alpha, it’s about creating connections. Whether those connections only last for a few hours, or they last for years, it’s about creating connections.

Hopefully some of those guys that I previously mentioned will see this and read it and it’ll help them get themselves back on course.

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10 Years From Now

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This is a follow up post to this post, right here.

My side job is reading Tarot cards for fun and profit. Most of my clients are women with a handful of men. Almost all of them want to know what’s going to happen in their futures. I don’t need to read cards, a crystal ball, or any other thing that is “woo-woo” to tell you your future.

What are you doing right now? (Besides reading this blog post.) What were you doing an hour ago? A day ago? A week ago? A month ago? A year ago? 5 years ago? 10 years ago?

Whatever you have been doing, that’s most likely what you are going to be doing in the future. That’s most likely what you are going to be doing in 10 years from now. Have you been living moment to moment, not thinking about your future? I’ve done it. It got me into a place that I didn’t want to be in. Overweight, unhappy, miserable, health on the verge of falling apart, eating junk food. That was me 10 years ago. A marriage that I settled for. A job I settled for. Real mediocre, real bland, real boring.

I woke up a couple years back because I could see my future. And it was more of the fucking same. I was going to keep on gaining weight, I was going to keep on eating the junk, I was going to still be “stuck” in a miserable marriage that was slowing killing me day by day, both emotionally and financially. I could see the ship sinking. I could see that there was no way to “save it.” My ex was perfectly content to eat, watch shit tv, not work, and spend my money on shit we didn’t need. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame her in the entirety. In fact, as far as I’m concerned, it was all my fault. I could have spoken up sooner, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to “rock the boat.” I could have gotten a better paying job, but I didn’t because I was comfortable. lazy.

Like I said at the beginning of this post, I can see your future. Do you like to kick back and chill? More of the same for you. Do you like to drink, drug, and party? More of the same for you. Do you like to eat a bunch of shit? More of the same. I can see where you are going to be 10 years from now if this is your lifestyle. Your mental, physical, and emotional health are going to be in the toilet. If you are in a relationship now, it will be a different relationship 10 years from now. You’ll probably both be overweight with health issues, and probably pretty unhappy with yourselves and each other. If your partner is healthier and in better shape than you? You won’t have that relationship for long, guaranteed. And you know what else I can see in all of this? It’s all your fault. Every last bit of it. And you deserve it. Brutal I know. But I’m not here to tell you pretty little lies. I’m here to give you a dose of the truth.

While all of this can be your life 10 years from now, it doesn’t have to be. You can change it. It all starts with you asking a simple couple of questions. “Where do I see myself 10 years from now? Where do I want to be 10 years from now?” Be honest with yourself when you ask those questions. If you are leading a shit life now, it’s NOT going to magically change just because you asked a question. Wishing your life was different is the height of “magical thinking.” Wishing isn’t going to be enough. Visualizing is a good start, but when it comes right down to it, you’re going to have to get up off your ass and do something about it. Be honest with your answers. And then do something.

Get a membership and hit the gym if you are out of shape and fat. Ladies, you and I both know that men are highly visual. You want hot guys? Better become a hot woman. Men? I didn’t forget about you either. Just because women aren’t as visually stimulated as we are doesn’t mean you get a pass. Looks count.

Are you up to your ass in debt? Get that shit handled. Pay down your bills. Cut the fat in your budget. Get a cheaper cell phone plan, drop your cable provider, get a cheaper car, move into a cheaper place, ask for a raise or get a higher paying job, or work 2 jobs, or 3 jobs if necessary; sell a bunch of your shit that you aren’t using and don’t need. Stop buying some much goddamn stuff. All that shit you “think you need?” You don’t. Besides, it won’t fill that gaping hole that is inside of you. Only working on yourself can do that.

If the relationship you are in is making you absolutely miserable, get out of it. Seriously. Dump the dead-weight and move on. It will be better for all parties in the long run.

“But Rob! That’s so flippant and easy for you to say!” You’re right it is. Consider this though. Where you are at right now is your fault, you got yourself there, whether from poor choices and bad decisions, sitting around waiting for shit to “just happen,” letting other people call the shots, or whatever other excuse you come up with. Argue enough for your limitations and sure enough, they are yours.

I owned my shit and did something about it. I lost a bunch of weight, I got a better paying job that is much less stressful. I got divorced. I cleaned out a ton of shit I didn’t need and was just hoarding. I cut a bunch of the bills out of my budget, I paid off a ton of debt and am in the process of finishing that up. I’m eating healthier, I’m working out. I’m not perfect, and neither are you. I don’t try to be anymore. I’ve still got work to do, and I’ve still got more shit to handle. But guess what? I’m handling it. I’m doing something about it. And I can see where I’m going to be 10 years from now.

The choice is yours. Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? What’s it going to take to get you there?

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