Do You Even “Like” Women? Part 2

woman sitting on bench
Got Your Fucking Attention, Didn’t I?

Larryzb commented on my post: Of course, the question arises: Do women even know how to love men these days? Have you taken that one up previously?

And I responded with: My experience recently is that they can and do, just not in ways that we as Men want or expect.

Now that I think about it, I haven’t taken this one up previously. So I’m going to give my two cents on it now.

My response is what I have seen, and yes, I’m ripping off Rollo. Why? Because he’s right. Women can’t love men the way we as men want them to. For a lot of years, most of my life even, I’ve wanted women to love me the way that I love them. Idealistically. Passionately. Even fatalistically. I wanted them to take a bullet for me. I wanted them to cry to me their undying love for me. I wanted them to kill themselves for me. Because at least for me, back in the day, I would have done all of that for them. And more.

Pathetic? Yes. Sad? Yes. Sad but true. And then I woke up.

Women will never be able to love us the way that we want them to. That doesn’t mean that they can’t love us. They can only love us how they love us. That’s a shitty answer, I know. It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. And I know that it’s a kind of circular answer too. They can only love us how they love us. Guys, I’m not a woman, and I can’t read their minds. I don’t know “how” they love us per se, only that they do.

For me, I’m big on affection. I like to touch and be touched. I’m sure there’s a “system,” or a book somewhere that will happily label whatever that means. Oh! Well Rob, that means you’re…

I don’t give a fuck. I just know that I like to touch and be touched. That’s one of the ways that I know that I’m being loved. When a woman fixes me a meal. That’s another way that I know she loves me. It shows me she cares and that she cares about my well-being. It really shows up when she takes the time to make something that I really like. It shows that she put thought into it.

Oh, and time. She may not have a fuckton of it, but if she makes it a point to spend time with me, that shows me that she loves me.

Of course, terms of endearment and words of affection are nice too. Calling me baby, is one. Calling me Daddy is even better, but that’s for another post at another time.

Sometimes when she either puts her head in my lap and puts her arms around my waist, or curls up on me, like a cat, that’s a good one. Even when she puts one or both of my legs to sleep.

Do women even know how to love these days? Yes, I believe so.

I see it in their eyes when they look at me. The sparkle, the shine, the shimmer. Whatever you want to call it.

I hear it in her voice when she answers the phone when I call her. All breathless and whatnot, like she just ran a marathon to grab the phone. And of course, she answered it on the first ring.

Sometimes she’ll send me YouTube videos of some sappy love song with a comment of, “Read the lyrics.”

Or she’ll just text me out of nowhere, “Thinking of You.” With the little kissy emojicons of course.

Or she’ll shave my head for me. Because that pleases me and I like that shit. Or she’ll shower with me and wash my back and the rest of my body. Or she’ll give me a full body massage, even though I know she’s dead tired from a long day at work. And she won’t even bitch, not once.

Or she’ll bring me a beer while we are sitting on the couch, watching a movie. Without me even asking her to do it. Or she’ll whip me up a mudslide.

Sometimes it shows up in her urgency to fuck the living shit out of me. Or the blowjobs. Goddamn..The blowjobs. But Rob! That’s not love! That’s lust! Fuck off, I don’t care.

There’s all sorts of ways that women love us men. It’s just not the way that we want or expect, or even hope for sometimes. She just does it her way, the only way that she knows how.

When we can let go of our expectations that they will love us the way that we love them, life gets interesting. You get to see that they can, and do, love us. You just have to drop the expectations and let them show and tell you in their own ways.

That’s all I’ve got for you on that one. I just know the one’s that show up in my world love me, in their own ways, even if it’s not what I wished for, hoped for, or expected. I guess I just roll with it and assume that they do. That’s enough for me at least.

I guess I could do worse. I could tell myself that they don’t love me, that they don’t know how to love me, and that they are incapable of loving me. But what good is that? Where’s that going to get me? Masochistic, I tell you.

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The New Little Rascals Building Forts

two-cats-one-box-fort-asshole
The Problem Is, You Can Only Have One Asshole In Fort Asshole

Hat tip to Nick August, @StoicRed1 on Twitter, for the title and the inspiration for this post.

Without knowing it at the time, Nick brought up something for me that has been an itch that I’ve been needing to scratch. His quote above brought it to the surface for me, and now, hopefully, I’ll get to scratch that motherfucker.

So here’s the deal:

I’ve always considered myself as a guy who is interested in what “is” instead of what “ought to be,” or what “was.” I’ve always been interested in improving myself instead of trying to be a part of a group. I know that the desire to be a part of something “bigger” is a real thing, and we are herd animals by nature. We are social, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I’ve been a part of different groups over the years. Everything from the Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts when I was a kid, to having a band in high school, to being in an honor society during college, and the last group that I affliliated with and belonged to was a Motorcycle Club. I understand group affiliation and the need to belong.

I also understand that you should seriously consider what it is that you’re looking for before joining a group. TJ Martinell wrote about it awhile ago, and it had something to do with “gamma’s” and also if you want to know how the group is, look to its leader. How is the leader, or leadership? The problem that I’ve encountered with most groups, especially those that are online, is that nothing actually gets accomplished or gets done except for possibly the “worship” of the leadership, and a lot of back patting each other. A lot of sitting around, talking shit, buying yet more “courses” or “secret information” from the leadership, a lot of digital “high-fives,” and a lot of mental masturbation.

I’m not part of any online groups at this time, other than hanging out with the guys from Masculine Geek. I do know and have happened to talk to some guys who either are, or were, a part of some online “exclusive” groups, groups coincidentally that you had to pay some sort of fee to join, and these people have given me a small taste of what is going on in these online groups. All the shit that I just mentioned? Yeah, that’s what’s going on.

Larping with a side of mental masturbation is what is going on. That and for a lot of guys in these groups, a lightening of their wallets. Personally, I don’t have an issue with the leadership fleecing its flock. A fool and his money are soon parted, or something like that. Sometimes that is the lesson that is needed. “What did you get out of that group, bud?” “Nothing but broke. But hey, I won’t be doing that again!” You get to burn.

The New Little Rascals Building Forts. In this case, cardboard box forts. Forts made of farts and hot air. But don’t worry Brother! We are going to save the West! Join us now and together we will rule the galaxy as father and son!

Ooops, my bad, wrong quote.

The West can’t be saved because it doesn’t want to be saved. It would have already been saved by now, but here we are, on an express train to hell, with no engineer at the controls, and if you were to get inside the engine cab, you would find that the controls are broken and nobody has the manual or the tools to fix it. And nobody wants to fix it. Except for maybe that one leader guy and his seven subscribers to his online group. But even they don’t want to “Save the West.” They just want to talk about saving the West. The leader just wants to keep them around longer in order to get more money from the monthly memberships and whatever online courses he can sell to them. Otherwise, he’ll have to go back out in the real world and get an actual job. But fuck it, you’ve got money to blow and the camaraderie is awesome, so why not?

I’m more interested in how I can be more self-sufficient and how the world actually operates, instead of how I wished it operated. I understand that a Man cannot be an island unto himself, that teamwork gets things done faster, better, and more efficiently. But when the leadership and the group itself has no real idea of what is going on, and they have no real idea of how to deal with the situation that they claim to know about, yeah, that can be a problem. But hey, go ahead and join that group and build a cardboard box fort with your new buddies. Tell me how’s that working out for ya, bud?

Like most platitudes, mantras, and slogans, “building forts” is another narcotic. It makes you feel good getting those high-fives and back slaps, but at the end of the day, are you actually accomplishing something? Did you learn a skill? Are you learning something of actual substance?

Or did you get the latest “secret?” The latest “insider information?” If whatever it is made you feel good, it’s probably bullshit and a narcotic. Have fun with that. At least when I hang out with my group, I drink beer.

I’ll be over here dealing with “what is,” instead of building paper forts with the buds.

Honestly, you would be better off looking for something in your locality, literally in your own neighborhood when it comes to joining a group. At least I got to drink and ride with my Brothers in the club and we had each other’s back when shit went down. Real life beats online hands down, every time.

Like Nick said, “The question is, what do you need for the most important part of your journey, the part where you have to go it alone?” Are your buddies in their digital online fort going to be there for you? Probably not. When the money runs out, your money, let’s see where you are left standing, and who is still standing with you. Hint: I’m not going to hold my breath.

Better hope your new online buddies in your new online group, building their new online cardboard box fort are teaching you how to go it alone. You’ve got to be able to go it alone, because at some point, you’ll have no other choice but to go it alone. I guarantee you that.

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Do You Even “Like” Women?

afterglow art backlit bokeh

“A Man Who Loves Women is Loved By Women.” – Zan Perrion.
Yeah yeah, Zan has received flak for being “purple pilled.” He’s definitely got a sort of “new age sensitive guy” thing going on and he can get all metaphysical, flowery, and mystical.
He’s not wrong though.
I’ve got a serious question for you guys though. It might be one of the most serious questions of your life.
You don’t need to answer me, but you do need to answer to yourself, and be honest with yourself. There’s no wrong answer here.
Here’s the question:
Do you like women?
I’m pretty sure you guys want women for a variety of reasons. But do you like them? Or do you simply want what they can give you? Do you want something from them? No wrong answers.
I’m bracing for the inevitable, “You’re virtue signalling to the wahmen!” with my next remark, but fuck it, here it goes:
I like women. I like being around them. I like them for being them. I honestly don’t have an agenda with them.  It’s not always about attraction and sex, I just genuinely like them. Even when they say and do stupid shit.
It wasn’t always that way.
Of course I wanted sex. Who doesn’t? But I can say up until a couple of years ago, I didn’t actually like them. I didn’t trust them. I figured they had agendas (and they do, but everyone does.) Hypergamy, AWALT, branch swinging, all of that stuff. Now I know that stuff exists and I know that women can and sometimes do, some fucked up shit. But I like them anyway. It’s a conscious choice for me.
I have a friend who recently started unplugging from the matrix. He’s taking care of his weight and his diet. He’s dressing better. He’s even starting to “get back out there” as far as being around women goes.
He’s still dealing with a lot of shit though. His latest thing is his “Alpha Agent of Righteous Karma” thing. He’s snubbing women closer to his own (and my own) age. Basically one of those, “Ha! Fuck you ladies! You didn’t want me back when we were in our 20’s! Well you can’t have me now in our late 40’s! Suck it!”
I’m exaggerating on the language part, but that’s pretty much the mentality. I know what that’s like because I’ve been there too, in the past. But I got through it and over it. I hope he does too. Until then, he gets to burn. I’m not going to try to tell him, “Dude. What you’re doing? Yeah, that’s not it.”
Guys, if you want to get “good” with women, I want you to understand a few things:
There are no tricks, hacks, tips, magic pills, short cuts, systems, or lines that will work.
Not if you want to be “good” with women over the long haul. Yeah you might pick up a few drunk ones and maybe a couple of really adventurous ones once in awhile using lines, hacks, systems and tricks. But honestly, almost all women can smell that bullshit from miles away. I know because I’ve tried it and failed spectacularly.
First things first. You have to get your mental shit together. You have to genuinely like women. You can’t hold grudges and do this “Alpha Agent of Righteous Karma” bullshit with them. So whatever bullshit you have against the women from your past, you need to get through that. You need to deal with that. You need to get over it.
You have to like women in order to love women. And if and when you do, they will love you in return and that’s when things get really fun and interesting. That’s when the world opens up to you.
I’m not bullshitting you and trying to paint some bullshit fluffy picture. It’s the only way I can describe it though.
When I gave up my anger towards women and began to actually genuinely like them, I learned to love them and they loved me back, hard.
So when you see or hear guys talk about, “I only bang 9’s and 10’s brah lol” Dude, that’s not it.
It’s okay if you don’t like them right now. Maybe you got really fucked over. Maybe you got really fucked over more than once. I get it. I’m not judging you. You just need to be honest with yourself and where you are at right now, mentally, with women.
Do you like them? Or do you just want something from them? Sex? Validation? Cure for loneliness? A hate fuck? It’s all good by me.
Do you like talking to them because you enjoy conversing with them? Or are you trying to “seduce” them? There’s a difference here.
I’m sure that I’m going to catch heat for what I’ve said here. “You’re pedestalizing the wahmen!” “You’re making it all about the wahmen!” “You’re giving the wahmen a pass!” “Your frame! You’re losing it!” No. I’m not.
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