Sheila Likes…

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“Sheila”

Sheila likes Tequila – Steelheart

I swear to god that my entire life is a fucking soundtrack. Every major event for me and even some of the minor ones, have an accompanying soundtrack. It’s one part musical, one part opera, and one part concert that is constantly going on in the background.

Today is no exception.

Red Pill Dad wrote a totally awesome blog post the other day that specifically dealt with the question of, “Do you give a woman your phone number, or do you take her number from her?” While he definitely came at it from a particular angle and I do happen to agree with him, I can also see the “other side” as well. As a side-note, I’ve had some success with both approaches. To me, it all depends on the context and the woman. More importantly though, Red Pill Dad addressed the pudwacks in the Spergosphere. On that particular topic I agree with him 110% and then some. Maybe that is part of why I do what I do. I got tired of seeing the dipshits doing dipshittery and taking other guys down with them. It’s tough enough out in the world trying to be a Man, let alone have some dumbass filling your head with nothing but pure unadulterated bullshit.

Anyways, while I was reading his article, I was drinking a beer and listening to Steelheart, and the song “Sheila” came on. I have no idea why, but this song reminds me of a woman that I met this last December.

Now mind you, I met her online, and she’s 43 (Gasp! I can almost hear and see the pudwacks pulling their dicks out to have a masturbation circle over what I’m writing about. Dude! I only bang 9’s and 10’s! She’s old! Blah, blah, blah…)

“Sheila” is another woman with a bunch of red flags.

Now, I don’t want you, Gentle Reader, to misunderstand me. I’m not shitting on her. She was an amazing woman. She was under 5 feet tall, 4’9 if my memory serves me correctly, and to a short fucker like me, that made me a literal giant when she stood next to me. She weighed 95 pounds, had an athletic build, and had no children. She was intelligent, had a razor sharp wit, and even had the goth thing going on. Physically, this woman pressed ALL of my buttons. Well, almost all of my buttons. The only thing that I could bitch about was her hair was much shorter than I generally like. But now I’m just being picky.

But…

The red flags…. And oh man, were there red flags…

She was on SSRI’s. She had enough mental issues going on that she was able to get disability from the state. She didn’t have a job and she didn’t work. She didn’t have a car, and she didn’t have a drivers license. And at 43 years old, she lived at home with her parents.

Whew…

Being on disability is a big one for me. That means she’s on a fixed income with a minimal likelihood that it was going to improve unless things in her life changed in a major way and she was able to rejoin the workforce. I can’t have that in my life. Not in any medium to long term sense. I can’t be the only one bringing in the money. She has got to be able to pull her own weight to some degree.

The not having a car or the ability to drive legally was another big one for me. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a lazy fucker and I like my women to be able to drive to me. I like it when they will come to my house, help me fix dinner, fuck me, maybe sleep over, but then drive their happy asses home the next morning, or even later that same night. The idea that I would have to play chauffeur for her happy ass is not something I wanted to do except maybe once or twice, but after that? Nah.

Did I mention that this poor woman had been engaged and that her fiance had committed suicide? Oh I must have forgotten that one earlier. That was something I learned from her on the first and only occasion that I went out with her. While we were driving to the bar to get a drink is when I learned about her guy and how less than a year earlier, he had taken his own life.

“Sheila” wasn’t ready to date. Why she was on dating apps still blows my mind to this day. She hadn’t dealt with her grief and her loss and here she was, out on the town with a guy who wanted to bang the fuck out of her.

Ultimately “Sheila” and I went nowhere. There was nowhere to go and the writing was clearly on the wall for me. I just wanted to bang because she pressed all of my physical buttons. Given half a chance, I would still take a swing at that one. The red flags though, they are too much, even for me, especially when all I wanted to do was bang.

Not every encounter is a win. Not every date is a lay. Sometimes they “get away,” and sometimes you release them because you know what you are getting yourself into and it’s not worth the energy or the effort. Sometimes the results aren’t worth the price you pay.

I like to think that “Sheila” is getting help for her myriad of ills and issues. I really hope she does. She’s a sweet girl who is highly intelligent, has a fantastic body that she takes a lot of pride in and takes care of, and whether you believe “deserve” has anything to do with anything, I believe she “deserves” another chance at finding love and happiness. She just won’t find it with me.

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Red Flags Are A Green Light

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“Kitten”

“Red flags are a green light.” – Jack Napier and Troy Francis, I believe.

The picture in this post is one that my girl “Kitten” sent me when we first started seeing each other. I cropped her face out for privacy reasons, but rest assured, that’s her.

“Kitten” has more red flags than a communist flag parade. She tatted up to beat the band, she has more tattoos than I do and that’s saying something. She’s got more drama than a New York play, and issues? Oh my hell, the girl has them in spades. Basically she is crazy as a shithouse rat.

I’m not saying all of this stuff to bash on her. She’s a great woman. And the sex… Until you’ve had sex with a bonafide crazy chick, you haven’t had mindblowing, roll your eyes in the back of your head, forget your name, dehydrate your body sex.

The thing is, I knew right from the start what I was getting myself into. I knew about a great majority of her red flags, and I was willing to listen to her when she would open up her mouth and more red flags would fall out. Women will do that if you let them. If they are crazy, they will tell you if you will only let them and listen to them and not judge them for it.

I knew what I was getting myself into so when things started to go sideways, I saw it coming and was able to get out of the way of the the inevitable trainwreck that was coming my way. “Kitten” has since moved on to another guy and is sharing her drama with him now. Not my circus, not my monkey’s.

Would I have sex with her again? Sure, why not? She’s a great lay. That and she’s an all around fun girl to be with. Not only was the sex great, but our conversations were pretty cool too. We could talk about anything and everything under the sun and the moon, and she had some bizarre but cool ideas about how she saw the world. Would I commit to her, play house with her, and wife her up though? Not a chance in hell.

“Kitten” was a woman that I had an immediate sexual attraction to from the first time I laid eyes on her and I knew she felt the same way about me right off the bat. It was a mutual attraction and it was delicious. It took quite some time for her and I to get together but it happened eventually. I have no regrets.

Lots of guys on the internet talk about red flags, even I have talked about them in the past myself. It’s good to know red flags when you see them so that you are aware of them and you can act accordingly.

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with a woman with a bunch of red flags. Red flags are a green light if you know what you want from that encounter. Crazy chicks can be a huge amount of drama and they can be a drain on you, especially on your energy and your emotions. They can even be dangerous, and I mean that in a “stabby” way. Then again, some of the craziest women I have met have also been the most adventurous when it comes to damn near anything.

Want to have sex in public and film it while you are at it? A crazy woman will do that. Chances are a crazy woman will indulge whatever demented fantasy you have. Chances are she’s done it before and has even done things that you haven’t, or that you haven’t even thought of.

A lot of guys give women with red flags a bad rap. I can understand why to a degree. Maybe they got too close to the fire and they got burned. I know I have. I made the mistake years ago and married crazy. I learned from that experience though and thankfully my ex-wife wasn’t “stabby” crazy.

I won’t lie, I have a certain predilection towards crazy. Maybe it’s because “I ain’t fully right” either. I like the drama up to a point. I realize that everybody has some form of drama to one degree or another, and if you honestly don’t, well then you haven’t really lived.

Would I want a long term relationship with a woman who has a septum ring? Hell no. Those nose rings usually knock a woman’s attractiveness down a good solid two points. But would I want to hook a chain through that ring and literally lead her around my house and maybe my neighborhood while she is on her hands and knees? You better believe it. That’s hot.

Do I generally like multiple, unnaturally colored hair on a woman? Not usually. But I love seeing that shit bunched up in my fist as I’m pulling on it.

A woman with more tattoos than I have will give me a minute’s pause, but goddamn I want to see all of her artwork and hear the stories, if any, behind them as I’m licking them. I want to touch all of her tattoos lightly with my fingers so that I can feel the ridges and the textures, and trust me, there are ridges and textures to tattoos. You’ll know them when you feel them. It’s my own version of reading braille.

Why am I reminiscing about “Kitten” and talking about women with red flags? Why am I bringing it up? Because I’m missing my dose of crazy. I’m feeling the urge to complicate my life to a degree and diving back into the pool of crazy. Lately I’ve been thinking about goth chicks. The blacker the eyeliner, the more multicolored hair, the blacker the dress, the more tattoos and piercings the better. I’ve never said that I’m the role model that you’ve been looking for.

A lot of guys will try and steer you clear of a woman with red flags and I get it. If you are looking for a woman to commit to, these woman are probably a bad idea. If you have no experience with them, you can end up with huge regrets. But then again, how can you get experience with them unless you actually take the plunge and figure it out for yourself?

Know what you want when you are dealing with a woman with a bunch of red flags. Know what the potential fallout could be. But then again, red flags are a green light and some of my most intense and memorable memories have been with crazy chicks and I’m still here running my mouth.

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She Might Be Crazy

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She Could Be Just Like This. Or Worse.

I got asked a question a little while ago about “crazy women.”

Specifically, the question that was asked was, “What are some of the signs, or red flags, of crazy? How do you spot it?”

Since I’ve had plenty of experience with crazy (hell I married it) let me give you a few examples of what to watch out for.

This list is by no means exhaustive and all-inclusive.

Also, your experiences may differ, and your mileage may vary.

Here we go:

1. She’s highly sexual with you early on in the relationship. I’m talking same day lay or next meeting type of stuff. She’ll fuck you like a porn star and will do all sorts of depraved shit with you and for you. Pretty much whatever fantasies you have, she’ll have either done it, or will be down to do it, no problem. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in and of itself, but it is a warning sign that she is potentially crazy and it could be seen as a red flag. Remember, it’s okay to screw crazy, don’t commit or marry crazy. Do I have to tell you to use protection? This is the type of woman who could have a “pregnancy scare” or could give you a disease as well. Keep that in mind.

2. She talks down about herself. She’ll say things like, “she’s hard to love,” “she’s getting her shit together (she’s not),” she’s “cute but psycho,” and the list goes on. If she speaks negatively about herself, that is a HUGE red flag. She not just fishing for sympathy (she is, but there is more to it, and I’ll come back to this one later), she’s TELLING YOU WHO SHE IS. She’s speaking her truth.

3. She talks “entitlement.” She says she’s a princess. She says she’s high maintenance. She says she’s done criminal acts or morally questionable things and isn’t ashamed of it, she’s actually proud of it? These are all red flags.

4. She’s got a ton of piercings and/or tattoos. She’s got a ton of issues and emotional problems. Even one tattoo is questionable to me. Don’t get me wrong, I like tattoos and I have quite a few myself, but on a woman? Tread carefully. My ex-wife had a bunch when I met her and she got many many more during our marriage. She has more than I do.

5. She dyes her hair unnatural colors. She shaves the side of her head . Tread lightly.

6. The biggest one of all though, in my experience, is that she seeks SYMPATHY. She plays the victim card to the hilt. With my ex-wife, nothing was ever her fault. It was always someone else’s fault. And that included me. It was always “Poor Jen.” And she would always be confused and hurt when someone (me) called her out on her bullshit. Guys, I believe this is the biggest one of them all. I can’t remember where I saw the literature, but in it it said that people who are sociopaths seek sympathy over all the other stuff that I mentioned. It’s like sympathy is their drug. Actually it’s how they hook you in and then take over your life and ruin it completely. Be very careful if you are dealing with a woman who is constantly seeking sympathy and is playing the victim card. This one is a predator. She’ll play the “damsel in distress” and then eat you alive when she is either done with you, or if she can’t get her way.

Use your better judgment when dealing with crazy. You WILL run into it eventually, it’s just a matter of time and odds. Don’t get me wrong, sex with crazy can be some of the best sex you will ever have in your life. But don’t commit to it and definitely don’t marry it. In all honesty, I would avoid it.

You may think you can handle crazy, but you probably can’t. I thought I could, but I couldn’t and didn’t. I just got lucky that I got out when I did and I didn’t lose my life, my ass, or my livelihood when I did get out. I really did just get lucky.

There’s plenty of women out there that aren’t crazy, seek them out instead. You’ll be better off in the long run. As Rich Cooper says, “the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.”

 

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