Red Flags Are A Green Light

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“Kitten”

“Red flags are a green light.” – Jack Napier and Troy Francis, I believe.

The picture in this post is one that my girl “Kitten” sent me when we first started seeing each other. I cropped her face out for privacy reasons, but rest assured, that’s her.

“Kitten” has more red flags than a communist flag parade. She tatted up to beat the band, she has more tattoos than I do and that’s saying something. She’s got more drama than a New York play, and issues? Oh my hell, the girl has them in spades. Basically she is crazy as a shithouse rat.

I’m not saying all of this stuff to bash on her. She’s a great woman. And the sex… Until you’ve had sex with a bonafide crazy chick, you haven’t had mindblowing, roll your eyes in the back of your head, forget your name, dehydrate your body sex.

The thing is, I knew right from the start what I was getting myself into. I knew about a great majority of her red flags, and I was willing to listen to her when she would open up her mouth and more red flags would fall out. Women will do that if you let them. If they are crazy, they will tell you if you will only let them and listen to them and not judge them for it.

I knew what I was getting myself into so when things started to go sideways, I saw it coming and was able to get out of the way of the the inevitable trainwreck that was coming my way. “Kitten” has since moved on to another guy and is sharing her drama with him now. Not my circus, not my monkey’s.

Would I have sex with her again? Sure, why not? She’s a great lay. That and she’s an all around fun girl to be with. Not only was the sex great, but our conversations were pretty cool too. We could talk about anything and everything under the sun and the moon, and she had some bizarre but cool ideas about how she saw the world. Would I commit to her, play house with her, and wife her up though? Not a chance in hell.

“Kitten” was a woman that I had an immediate sexual attraction to from the first time I laid eyes on her and I knew she felt the same way about me right off the bat. It was a mutual attraction and it was delicious. It took quite some time for her and I to get together but it happened eventually. I have no regrets.

Lots of guys on the internet talk about red flags, even I have talked about them in the past myself. It’s good to know red flags when you see them so that you are aware of them and you can act accordingly.

That being said, there’s nothing wrong with a woman with a bunch of red flags. Red flags are a green light if you know what you want from that encounter. Crazy chicks can be a huge amount of drama and they can be a drain on you, especially on your energy and your emotions. They can even be dangerous, and I mean that in a “stabby” way. Then again, some of the craziest women I have met have also been the most adventurous when it comes to damn near anything.

Want to have sex in public and film it while you are at it? A crazy woman will do that. Chances are a crazy woman will indulge whatever demented fantasy you have. Chances are she’s done it before and has even done things that you haven’t, or that you haven’t even thought of.

A lot of guys give women with red flags a bad rap. I can understand why to a degree. Maybe they got too close to the fire and they got burned. I know I have. I made the mistake years ago and married crazy. I learned from that experience though and thankfully my ex-wife wasn’t “stabby” crazy.

I won’t lie, I have a certain predilection towards crazy. Maybe it’s because “I ain’t fully right” either. I like the drama up to a point. I realize that everybody has some form of drama to one degree or another, and if you honestly don’t, well then you haven’t really lived.

Would I want a long term relationship with a woman who has a septum ring? Hell no. Those nose rings usually knock a woman’s attractiveness down a good solid two points. But would I want to hook a chain through that ring and literally lead her around my house and maybe my neighborhood while she is on her hands and knees? You better believe it. That’s hot.

Do I generally like multiple, unnaturally colored hair on a woman? Not usually. But I love seeing that shit bunched up in my fist as I’m pulling on it.

A woman with more tattoos than I have will give me a minute’s pause, but goddamn I want to see all of her artwork and hear the stories, if any, behind them as I’m licking them. I want to touch all of her tattoos lightly with my fingers so that I can feel the ridges and the textures, and trust me, there are ridges and textures to tattoos. You’ll know them when you feel them. It’s my own version of reading braille.

Why am I reminiscing about “Kitten” and talking about women with red flags? Why am I bringing it up? Because I’m missing my dose of crazy. I’m feeling the urge to complicate my life to a degree and diving back into the pool of crazy. Lately I’ve been thinking about goth chicks. The blacker the eyeliner, the more multicolored hair, the blacker the dress, the more tattoos and piercings the better. I’ve never said that I’m the role model that you’ve been looking for.

A lot of guys will try and steer you clear of a woman with red flags and I get it. If you are looking for a woman to commit to, these woman are probably a bad idea. If you have no experience with them, you can end up with huge regrets. But then again, how can you get experience with them unless you actually take the plunge and figure it out for yourself?

Know what you want when you are dealing with a woman with a bunch of red flags. Know what the potential fallout could be. But then again, red flags are a green light and some of my most intense and memorable memories have been with crazy chicks and I’m still here running my mouth.

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Are You Experienced?

jimi-hendrix-are-you-experienced

“Who, after all, are the most anti-sex people and slut shamers aside from trad-con males? Feminists, and women who are fat and/or old.” –@redpilldadpua

The above quote (emphasis mine) and link are from Red Pill Dad Pua’s blog, you should check it out.

Let’s get to the heart of this post shall we?

Trad-Con males. Or guys in general that slut shame and are “anti-sex.” Why are they “anti-sex?” That’s the million dollar question for me. Were they abused as children? Probably not. It’s more likely they were brought up with certain religious views and religious convictions that make sex either dirty and forbidden, or that it is only something that should be between a man and a woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. And then it’s primarily for procreation only, heaven forbid you actually enjoy sex for the sake of sex. God forbid you bust out the floggers and rope or put your woman in a choke-hold. Can’t have any of that.

The “anti-sex” people are doing a dis-service to themselves if you ask me. How are you going to be good at sex if you don’t have sex? How are you going to know if a potential partner is good at sex if you haven’t had anything as a reference point to base it off of? How are you going to know if you are sexually compatible?

Here’s what I mean by that:

I’ve had a lot of sex over the years. According to a survey I found, the average number of partners that people have over a lifetime is 7. There’s other studies and whatnot out there that are basically saying the same thing, so for now, I’ll accept 7 as the average number of partners that both men, and women (I know, I know, hush) have over a lifetime. So according to this particular survey, not only have I had a lot of sex, I’ve also had a lot of partners too. I’m way past the magic number of 7. I still don’t know if I believe this number or not. It just seems so…small.

Anyways, in all of that sex, in all of my partners, I’ve learned a lot about what pleases women in bed in general, as well as what pleases me. I’ve got experience. I’ve got enough experience that when a woman shows up in my life and we become sexually active, I have a good idea based on her actions and behaviors to know that she has either had a lot of sex, but with only a handful of guys, or she’s had some sex with a lot of guys, or both. Or that she hasn’t had a lot of experience. It actually does show up in the bedroom. I wouldn’t be able to know this without having my experiences that I’ve had.

I’m not saying any of this to brag or to shame anyone, it is what it is. A woman shows up and can rock my world? She has experience, whether it’s a lot of sex or a lot of partners or both. Any of these scenarios is neither good or bad to me, it just is. She shows up and fumbles around a lot and then tells me she doesn’t normally do stuff like this? I’m more likely to believe her. But what if I didn’t have the experience? How would I know if she was being honest or not? I wouldn’t know because I have either no reference point or a very limited reference point to base her words and abilities on.

That’s what I mean by “anti-sex” people doing themselves a dis-service. They have either no reference point at all, or a very limited one to go off of.

My biggest gut-clenching “fear” is what I remember reading in Rollo Tomassi’s Saving The Best: “I got married to a whore, that fucks like a prude.”  Without any reference point to base things off of, without any experience “under your belt,” this could be you. Is having experience a guarantee that it won’t happen to you? Of course not. You could meet someone and she could still end up not giving you her best. At least with experience though, you have a better chance of finding that out, even if your sex with her is fairly basic and “vanilla.”

So if you are a guy and you are “holding out” for your “special unicorn,” you might be shooting yourself in the foot. I can understand your religious convictions if that is what is stopping you, and as I’ve said in the past, you do you. Be aware that a lack of experience especially when it comes to sex, may put you at a disadvantage with women, and not just in the ability to give her good, satisfying sex.

Another reason that I personally wouldn’t hold out is something I wrote about a while back: Ray. He was a co-worker of mine that died shortly after his 30th birthday, and he died a virgin. He’s a guy that never got to experience the pleasure of sex or the pleasure of a woman. He was holding out and waiting for his “One.” At least for me, if I die tomorrow I know what sex is like, what it’s cracked up to be, what it’s not cracked up to be, what is still a mystery to me there, and what isn’t. I’ve had the pleasure of women and I’m happy and excited for more. At least I’ve had that. For me I would hate knowing that I’m dying and I never got to experience that, even if it was only once.

This is why I don’t pass up sex too often. I love and want the experience. Each woman is different in her own way. Her body is a little different from the next woman. You learn nuance after awhile. You definitely learn what works for you and what doesn’t.

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