Sheila Likes…

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“Sheila”

Sheila likes Tequila – Steelheart

I swear to god that my entire life is a fucking soundtrack. Every major event for me and even some of the minor ones, have an accompanying soundtrack. It’s one part musical, one part opera, and one part concert that is constantly going on in the background.

Today is no exception.

Red Pill Dad wrote a totally awesome blog post the other day that specifically dealt with the question of, “Do you give a woman your phone number, or do you take her number from her?” While he definitely came at it from a particular angle and I do happen to agree with him, I can also see the “other side” as well. As a side-note, I’ve had some success with both approaches. To me, it all depends on the context and the woman. More importantly though, Red Pill Dad addressed the pudwacks in the Spergosphere. On that particular topic I agree with him 110% and then some. Maybe that is part of why I do what I do. I got tired of seeing the dipshits doing dipshittery and taking other guys down with them. It’s tough enough out in the world trying to be a Man, let alone have some dumbass filling your head with nothing but pure unadulterated bullshit.

Anyways, while I was reading his article, I was drinking a beer and listening to Steelheart, and the song “Sheila” came on. I have no idea why, but this song reminds me of a woman that I met this last December.

Now mind you, I met her online, and she’s 43 (Gasp! I can almost hear and see the pudwacks pulling their dicks out to have a masturbation circle over what I’m writing about. Dude! I only bang 9’s and 10’s! She’s old! Blah, blah, blah…)

“Sheila” is another woman with a bunch of red flags.

Now, I don’t want you, Gentle Reader, to misunderstand me. I’m not shitting on her. She was an amazing woman. She was under 5 feet tall, 4’9 if my memory serves me correctly, and to a short fucker like me, that made me a literal giant when she stood next to me. She weighed 95 pounds, had an athletic build, and had no children. She was intelligent, had a razor sharp wit, and even had the goth thing going on. Physically, this woman pressed ALL of my buttons. Well, almost all of my buttons. The only thing that I could bitch about was her hair was much shorter than I generally like. But now I’m just being picky.

But…

The red flags…. And oh man, were there red flags…

She was on SSRI’s. She had enough mental issues going on that she was able to get disability from the state. She didn’t have a job and she didn’t work. She didn’t have a car, and she didn’t have a drivers license. And at 43 years old, she lived at home with her parents.

Whew…

Being on disability is a big one for me. That means she’s on a fixed income with a minimal likelihood that it was going to improve unless things in her life changed in a major way and she was able to rejoin the workforce. I can’t have that in my life. Not in any medium to long term sense. I can’t be the only one bringing in the money. She has got to be able to pull her own weight to some degree.

The not having a car or the ability to drive legally was another big one for me. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a lazy fucker and I like my women to be able to drive to me. I like it when they will come to my house, help me fix dinner, fuck me, maybe sleep over, but then drive their happy asses home the next morning, or even later that same night. The idea that I would have to play chauffeur for her happy ass is not something I wanted to do except maybe once or twice, but after that? Nah.

Did I mention that this poor woman had been engaged and that her fiance had committed suicide? Oh I must have forgotten that one earlier. That was something I learned from her on the first and only occasion that I went out with her. While we were driving to the bar to get a drink is when I learned about her guy and how less than a year earlier, he had taken his own life.

“Sheila” wasn’t ready to date. Why she was on dating apps still blows my mind to this day. She hadn’t dealt with her grief and her loss and here she was, out on the town with a guy who wanted to bang the fuck out of her.

Ultimately “Sheila” and I went nowhere. There was nowhere to go and the writing was clearly on the wall for me. I just wanted to bang because she pressed all of my physical buttons. Given half a chance, I would still take a swing at that one. The red flags though, they are too much, even for me, especially when all I wanted to do was bang.

Not every encounter is a win. Not every date is a lay. Sometimes they “get away,” and sometimes you release them because you know what you are getting yourself into and it’s not worth the energy or the effort. Sometimes the results aren’t worth the price you pay.

I like to think that “Sheila” is getting help for her myriad of ills and issues. I really hope she does. She’s a sweet girl who is highly intelligent, has a fantastic body that she takes a lot of pride in and takes care of, and whether you believe “deserve” has anything to do with anything, I believe she “deserves” another chance at finding love and happiness. She just won’t find it with me.

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Online Dating: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.

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First off, I want to say that learning how to do day game, night game, or whatever you want to call it is better than doing online game, at least in general. With day and night game, you get immediate feedback from the girls you are approaching, you learn how to interact better socially, and ultimately you start to lose a lot of what is called approach anxiety.

I’m in agreement with the guys who say do day game or night game over online dating, learn that before dealing with the online dating world. You’ll get better results with the women that you are actually attracted to over enough time if you keep at it and are consistent.

That being said, I personally like to keep all of my options open. I don’t believe in a day game or night game only, model. The more opportunities that I can have, the better.

So here’s some things about online dating, some pro’s and con’s if you will, and ultimately why online dating works for me.

Like I said earlier, with day game or night game, you can approach a lot of women quick and get immediate feedback. No waiting around to see if they “match” or “like” you. Also there is no waiting around for feedback. Online dating takes time, much like fishing. But for me, that works.

I don’t mind baiting my lure, casting it out, and then settling in and waiting to see what happens.

First off: I’m lazy. I’ll admit it. I work 10 hour shifts 4 sometimes 5 days a week. I spend most of that time driving around, dealing with traffic, dealing with pedestrians, dealing with parking, and dealing with high temperatures in the summer and cold temperatures in the winter. I’m out in the elements most of my day. My job is physically taxing and by the time I get done with my day and I go home, the last thing I want to do, especially on the week days, is get cleaned up, jump back into my car, head back downtown to where all the action is, wander around and approach only to get shot down and then go home to go to bed so that I can get up and do it all again the next day.

At one point several years ago, I asked myself a question. I didn’t care how outlandish the answer seemed, I just wanted to get my creativity going and go from there. That question was: “When it comes to women, what do I want?”

My answer was: “I want them to come over to my house, have sex with me, and then go home.” That way, no matter what, I “won.” I “won” because they would either show up and we would have sex and then they would go home, or they wouldn’t show up because they flaked, or ghosted, or changed their minds. Either way, I was where I wanted to be: Home.

Enter online dating.

I can do it from my laptop or my phone. I don’t have to get dressed up and go somewhere to do it. I can do it from my bed before I go to sleep if I want to. I have my full time job, I have all my assorted shows, videos, audios, books, meals, housekeeping, and sleep to do. My days are pretty much full from the time I get up to the time that I go to bed. Having some spare time to literally “do nothing” is almost a foreign concept to me and I treasure it when it happens to come along.

Online dating takes longer, you’ll still get ghosted and flaked on, you have the added hassle of catfishing and spam bots, and the quality of the women has a ceiling. You won’t find hard 7’s or higher on online dating. That’s because they don’t need to use online dating because guys will approach them and hit on them at work, or at the bar, or at the grocery store, or wherever they happen to be.

You also have to realize that all women are wizards and that they will use makeup, filters, and bizarre and strange photo angles to hide what their bodies actually look like. Protip for the noobs: If all you see are head shots, she’s fat.

Since my life is pretty full and I happen to be lazy, at least when it comes to wanting to go out and “do shit,” online dating works for me. I can carpet bomb the women that I find attractive, shut down the app or the site, do whatever else it is that I need to do, and then go back and deal with any hits.

Remember my ultimate goal is to get them to come to my house, fuck me, and then go home. I’m not looking for a wife. I’m not looking for “a keeper.” I’m not looking to play house. I’m not Mr. Right, I’m Mr. Right Now. I’m a big fan of catch and release. I like sport fucking. I like slumber parties. And when it comes to attractiveness, I don’t care what strangers and assholes on the internet think. I don’t care what my Dad thinks. I don’t care what my real life friends think. All that matters to me is do I find her attractive. Does she pass the “boner test” for me? If yes, swipe right. If not, swipe left.

When I get a “match” my goal is then to get her off the app and get her on the phone. I do this by being funny and showing her that I have a sense of humor and that I’m a fun, mostly sane guy who isn’t going to murder her and bury her in a shallow grave. I’ll do 3 or 4 texts on the app and then go for the phone number.

Either I get the number and I’ll then drop the app and do everything by phone calls from that point forward, or she won’t give me the number and usually from there I move on to better prospects. My time is valuable and I don’t want to waste it. I’m still “winning” though, because I’m home.

All this whole time, my mindset, my goal, is to get her out of her house and get her into mine so that we can have sex and then she can go home. The hardest time is the first time. After that, if she and I are interested in a “round 2” it’s simply a matter of calling her up, getting her to come over, and then working out logistics.

It’s totally possible to get a woman whom you have never met and she has never met you, to show up to your house, fuck you, and then leave if that is what you want. Once you’ve done it once, you can do it again. Repetition for the win.

Have I ever had a woman show up to my house and I realize that I DON’T want to have sex with her? Yes, that happened once many years ago. Call it a learning lesson. So now once I get the phone number, I get her to either send more photos, which tend to be more revealing, or in today’s world, I can get her on something like Messenger where I can video chat with her and see what she looks like better.

Ultimately this has been a long and rambling way of saying, while online dating and swipe apps aren’t always the way to go, don’t eliminate your options. While online dating is far from ideal, it can work. Know the limitations of it. Know yourself and what it is that you want, and be realistic in your expectations. Know your own limitations. Know your strengths.

Know what you want and what are your goals and go from there.

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Hedonist

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Matt wrote a great post the other day about getting his tastebuds back. It’s a great post, do him and me a solid and go check it out.

I’m many things in life, there is no one thing that defines me in totality. I’m educated both in the classical, classroom, book sense, and I’m also educated from the school of hard knocks. I’m a Man first and many other things second, third, and so on.

One thing I am is a Hedonist.

Hedonism is a school of thought that argues seeking pleasure and avoiding suffering are the only components of well-being.[1]

I understand that there are periods of time in life where things don’t go the way that you want and that makes us uncomfortable and to even suffer. I accept that and I deal with it when it comes, maybe that’s also the inner stoic in me, but mostly I want and strive to either get back to pleasure, or to pursue pleasure in its myriad of forms.

Pleasure isn’t just about sex, although it’s one of my most favorite forms of pleasure. Eating food is another pleasure as well as a means of survival. Eating foods that many would consider “bad for you” is also one of my favorite things to do. Life is too short to not eat the good food. Life is too short to not drink the good drinks, and that includes alcohol for me.

I take great pleasure in writing and so I write. I take great pleasure in the sound of my own voice and so I run my mouth constantly. I take pleasure in being on camera and so I have my YouTube channel as well as being on other people’s shows.

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Many people online and in real life choose to “struggle” and “resist” so-called “temptation.” I understand this although I consider it somewhat masochistic to do so, but then again, masochists are known for taking pleasure in their own suffering. Perhaps people who choose to not drink and to not eat all the decadent foods gain pleasure from not doing so. Maybe they take pleasure in making necessity a virtue. Maybe they take pleasure in virtue itself. If it doesn’t fill my belly, alter my mind in some form, or empty my ball sac, I’m generally not interested.

Take a couple of ice cold beers, some delicious, greasy bacon and add a highly stimulating conversation to the mix and I’m on cloud nine. That’s what happened when Matt showed up and we talked about damn near everything under the sun and then some. It was a great time and it was a truly pleasurable moment for me. 10/10 I would do it again.

When I was younger, I took more pleasure in the things I abstained from, or at least that was what I was told to do. That’s the key here. It was what I was told to do. This was me living someone else’s life and doing as they wished. It wasn’t me living my life and doing what I wanted.

When I decided to try out different foods, drinks, clothes, and yes, women, I realized that I was happy. I was happy being me because I was doing what I wanted to do. Not everybody liked what I had become, not everybody liked the choices that I have made. That’s okay, they don’t have to. It’s my life, my choice.

I find seeking pleasure in all of its forms far more interesting and far more gratifying than abstaining from those pleasures. I would rather partake than not. I believe that we have only this one life and so I might as well enjoy it as much as possible.

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I don’t expect anyone to follow me down this road because we all get to choose our own paths in life. Just don’t tell me about the virtues of abstinence because I’ve already been down that road. It’s not for me. For those of you who haven’t indulged yourselves, my question to you is this: Why not?

We could all die tomorrow in a variety of ways in a variety of pain. The truth is that we all die sooner or later because it’s unavoidable and it’s inevitable. I would rather die sooner while enjoying my life and experiencing as much as possible with a ton of intensity than die 50 years from now in my bed or from falling down a flight of stairs, scared silly of the grim reaper. The reaper comes for us all eventually.

Who really wants to live forever?

Abstaining wasn’t just what I was told, it was what I was told to fear. “Don’t do that! You’ll get a disease!” “Don’t go there! You’ll get in trouble!” “Don’t say those things! You’ll offend someone!” Yeah, none of those things have happened to me so far, and if they do, I’ll deal with them when they happen.

The two great motivators in life are pleasure and pain. We all have both to one degree or another. Most people are motivated to move away from pain. We are motivated more by what we stand to lose than what we stand to gain. Which one motivates you more? Pleasure? Or pain?

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Indeed.

Most of the people who cry “Moderation in Everything!” have never truly gone down the road to excess. Most of them haven’t done anything to excess except to say that everything should be done in moderation. Think about that for a moment. How do you even know what excess is unless you’ve actually experienced it? It’s amazing what we can do when we push ourselves enough. This includes experiencing pleasure in all of its forms.

It’s okay if you want to talk about the virtues of being virtuous. It’s okay if you want to abstain. Do it long enough and you will have truly never lived and that’s okay too. That’s your life.

I’ll be eyeballs deep in it though, right up to my brow. I’ll be in it so deep that I’ll set every nerve ending in my body on fire.

Life is beautiful and it is absurd. Life has no inherent meaning to it. The only meaning that life has is what you give to it. I choose pleasure. The meaning of life to me is to experience as much pleasure as I can in the time that I can. Life is pleasure. Pleasure for the sake of pleasure.

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