I got asked a question a little while ago about “crazy women.”
Specifically, the question that was asked was, “What are some of the signs, or red flags, of crazy? How do you spot it?”
Since I’ve had plenty of experience with crazy (hell I married it) let me give you a few examples of what to watch out for.
This list is by no means exhaustive and all-inclusive.
Also, your experiences may differ, and your mileage may vary.
Here we go:
1. She’s highly sexual with you early on in the relationship. I’m talking same day lay or next meeting type of stuff. She’ll fuck you like a porn star and will do all sorts of depraved shit with you and for you. Pretty much whatever fantasies you have, she’ll have either done it, or will be down to do it, no problem. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in and of itself, but it is a warning sign that she is potentially crazy and it could be seen as a red flag. Remember, it’s okay to screw crazy, don’t commit or marry crazy. Do I have to tell you to use protection? This is the type of woman who could have a “pregnancy scare” or could give you a disease as well. Keep that in mind.
2. She talks down about herself. She’ll say things like, “she’s hard to love,” “she’s getting her shit together (she’s not),” she’s “cute but psycho,” and the list goes on. If she speaks negatively about herself, that is a HUGE red flag. She not just fishing for sympathy (she is, but there is more to it, and I’ll come back to this one later), she’s TELLING YOU WHO SHE IS. She’s speaking her truth.
3. She talks “entitlement.” She says she’s a princess. She says she’s high maintenance. She says she’s done criminal acts or morally questionable things and isn’t ashamed of it, she’s actually proud of it? These are all red flags.
4. She’s got a ton of piercings and/or tattoos. She’s got a ton of issues and emotional problems. Even one tattoo is questionable to me. Don’t get me wrong, I like tattoos and I have quite a few myself, but on a woman? Tread carefully. My ex-wife had a bunch when I met her and she got many many more during our marriage. She has more than I do.
5. She dyes her hair unnatural colors. She shaves the side of her head . Tread lightly.
6. The biggest one of all though, in my experience, is that she seeks SYMPATHY. She plays the victim card to the hilt. With my ex-wife, nothing was ever her fault. It was always someone else’s fault. And that included me. It was always “Poor Jen.” And she would always be confused and hurt when someone (me) called her out on her bullshit. Guys, I believe this is the biggest one of them all. I can’t remember where I saw the literature, but in it it said that people who are sociopaths seek sympathy over all the other stuff that I mentioned. It’s like sympathy is their drug. Actually it’s how they hook you in and then take over your life and ruin it completely. Be very careful if you are dealing with a woman who is constantly seeking sympathy and is playing the victim card. This one is a predator. She’ll play the “damsel in distress” and then eat you alive when she is either done with you, or if she can’t get her way.
Use your better judgment when dealing with crazy. You WILL run into it eventually, it’s just a matter of time and odds. Don’t get me wrong, sex with crazy can be some of the best sex you will ever have in your life. But don’t commit to it and definitely don’t marry it. In all honesty, I would avoid it.
You may think you can handle crazy, but you probably can’t. I thought I could, but I couldn’t and didn’t. I just got lucky that I got out when I did and I didn’t lose my life, my ass, or my livelihood when I did get out. I really did just get lucky.
There’s plenty of women out there that aren’t crazy, seek them out instead. You’ll be better off in the long run. As Rich Cooper says, “the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.”