She Might Be Crazy

black and white person feeling smiling
She Could Be Just Like This. Or Worse.

I got asked a question a little while ago about “crazy women.”

Specifically, the question that was asked was, “What are some of the signs, or red flags, of crazy? How do you spot it?”

Since I’ve had plenty of experience with crazy (hell I married it) let me give you a few examples of what to watch out for.

This list is by no means exhaustive and all-inclusive.

Also, your experiences may differ, and your mileage may vary.

Here we go:

1. She’s highly sexual with you early on in the relationship. I’m talking same day lay or next meeting type of stuff. She’ll fuck you like a porn star and will do all sorts of depraved shit with you and for you. Pretty much whatever fantasies you have, she’ll have either done it, or will be down to do it, no problem. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, in and of itself, but it is a warning sign that she is potentially crazy and it could be seen as a red flag. Remember, it’s okay to screw crazy, don’t commit or marry crazy. Do I have to tell you to use protection? This is the type of woman who could have a “pregnancy scare” or could give you a disease as well. Keep that in mind.

2. She talks down about herself. She’ll say things like, “she’s hard to love,” “she’s getting her shit together (she’s not),” she’s “cute but psycho,” and the list goes on. If she speaks negatively about herself, that is a HUGE red flag. She not just fishing for sympathy (she is, but there is more to it, and I’ll come back to this one later), she’s TELLING YOU WHO SHE IS. She’s speaking her truth.

3. She talks “entitlement.” She says she’s a princess. She says she’s high maintenance. She says she’s done criminal acts or morally questionable things and isn’t ashamed of it, she’s actually proud of it? These are all red flags.

4. She’s got a ton of piercings and/or tattoos. She’s got a ton of issues and emotional problems. Even one tattoo is questionable to me. Don’t get me wrong, I like tattoos and I have quite a few myself, but on a woman? Tread carefully. My ex-wife had a bunch when I met her and she got many many more during our marriage. She has more than I do.

5. She dyes her hair unnatural colors. She shaves the side of her head . Tread lightly.

6. The biggest one of all though, in my experience, is that she seeks SYMPATHY. She plays the victim card to the hilt. With my ex-wife, nothing was ever her fault. It was always someone else’s fault. And that included me. It was always “Poor Jen.” And she would always be confused and hurt when someone (me) called her out on her bullshit. Guys, I believe this is the biggest one of them all. I can’t remember where I saw the literature, but in it it said that people who are sociopaths seek sympathy over all the other stuff that I mentioned. It’s like sympathy is their drug. Actually it’s how they hook you in and then take over your life and ruin it completely. Be very careful if you are dealing with a woman who is constantly seeking sympathy and is playing the victim card. This one is a predator. She’ll play the “damsel in distress” and then eat you alive when she is either done with you, or if she can’t get her way.

Use your better judgment when dealing with crazy. You WILL run into it eventually, it’s just a matter of time and odds. Don’t get me wrong, sex with crazy can be some of the best sex you will ever have in your life. But don’t commit to it and definitely don’t marry it. In all honesty, I would avoid it.

You may think you can handle crazy, but you probably can’t. I thought I could, but I couldn’t and didn’t. I just got lucky that I got out when I did and I didn’t lose my life, my ass, or my livelihood when I did get out. I really did just get lucky.

There’s plenty of women out there that aren’t crazy, seek them out instead. You’ll be better off in the long run. As Rich Cooper says, “the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.”

 

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You Don’t Really Know Her, And You Never Will.

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Here’s another truth that I’ve had to swallow that has been a bitter pill:

You can be with someone for a long time, months, years, even decades, and you will never really know them.

You will think that you know them, and I’m sure that is part of the idealism that lives inside of Men. You think you know your wife, your girlfriend, your significant other, whatever title, name or term of affection that you want to give her or call her.

But you will never really know her. Not truly.

Swallow that pill. Choke it down.

You will never really know her.

In all fairness, she will probably never really know you either. But if you are like most Men out there, you will take many opportunities to show her who you are, to invite her into your world and to get to know you better. To know who you really are.

Do not expect the same courtesy in return. She will always hold something back. I’m not saying this from a place of anger or bitterness, I’m just speaking from my own personal experience.

After every relationship I’ve had that has ended, I end up seeing more of who that woman really was.

Sometimes it’s not pretty. Sometimes it’s okay. Either way it is what it is.

I wrote a while back about a bitter red pill that I had to swallow. Check it out if you haven’t already. It’s a good place to start. This one would be the next one that I have encountered that has been really hard to get down my throat.

I don’t blame the women that have been in my life and are now gone for this lack of knowing them. It’s not their fault for the most part. It’s mine.

Goddamn, unplugging is a bitch. You go along, thinking you’ve unplugged and then something hits you. Sometimes it even blind sides you. That’s where you realize that you haven’t unplugged as much as you thought you had. That’s when you realize you are still a long way off and that you still have a lot of work to do.

Rollo Tomassi wrote about this to a degree a few years ago in an article that he called, “Kill The Beta.” I imagine to some degree this was what he was talking about.

I don’t know why this one is bothering me so bad right now, except that it shatters an illusion that I once had and cherished. That illusion was that I knew the woman I was with, that I really knew her.

Knowing now that I didn’t really know her, it’s sad to me. It’s sad because now I know more about her and what she is actually capable of. Which means that she is truly capable of anything.

In the past if you asked me if she was capable of “X,” I would have told you no way, not in a million years.

Now if you asked me if she was or is capable of “X,” I would have to say that “X” is totally possible. She could do it. Doesn’t mean she would, but she could.

That opens up a whole world of uncertainty for me. That uncertainty makes me uncomfortable. If she is capable of say, lying, cheating, deceiving, stealing, and even taking a life, it means that I don’t really know her and I cannot trust her.

I take that back. I can trust her to be her. Someone who is capable of anything. Even theft and murder.

The question that keeps haunting me is this:

Knowing that a woman is truly capable of anything and could turn on you for no reason at all, how do you trust them? How can you live with them? How can you spend time, any significant amount of time with them?

I don’t want to go through the rest of my life not being able to trust a woman. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life realizing that a woman is truly capable of anything and everything.

I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder and sleeping with one eye open, wondering when, not if, she’s going to go feral on me and pull whatever shit she’s going to pull.

How do you overcome that? Or do you?

Is it simply throwing your hands up in the air and giving up? Is it submitting to the fact that All Women Are Like That? How can you be with someone that you can’t trust? Or that you can trust that she will do what she’s going to do and that she will go feral at some point and betray your trust, betray you?

I can already hear some women that might read this saying, “Not all women are like that!” To which I would answer them, “Prove it. Your words don’t count for shit with me. You’re going to have to show me that I can trust you, your words don’t count.”

I understand why some Men decide to go MGTOW now. It makes more sense. Sometimes it seems to me that it would be a much easier life not dealing with women. If I want female companionship I can always hire a professional and be done with it. At least with her, I know what I’m paying for and what I’m getting. I can see why some guys do this.

Maybe I’m just zeroed out emotionally at this point when it comes to the idea of dating and dealing with women. Right now I don’t feel like it’s worth the hassle to get to know someone only to know that I’ll never really know them and that I can only trust them about as far as I can throw them. It sucks knowing that the only thing I know for certain is that I can trust her to be her and that means that I can trust that she is capable of anything at any time. I can trust that she can go feral at any point for any reason or no reason whatsoever.

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No Shortcuts

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I’m going to cut to the chase today guys.

There’s no shortcuts to get what you want. You have to do the fucking work.

Anything else is just an excuse to not do the work.

You’re out of shape and fat? Your fault. Do the work. How did you get that way? By not doing the work. Getting out of shape and being fat wasn’t an overnight phenomenon. You didn’t wake up yesterday or today and you were suddenly fat. No. You spent years getting there.

It’s going to take some fucking time to get your ass into shape. Do the work. As Rich Cooper would say, “Pick up heavy shit and put it down.” It’s that simple. But it may not be easy. Most of your life, you have had it on easy mode. That’s why you are fat and out of shape. That’s why you don’t have someone in your life to have sex with. That’s why you aren’t making the money you want. That’s why you don’t have the career, job, what-have-you that you want. Do the fucking work.

I saw a friend over the weekend, last time I saw her was at my Mom’s funeral. Before that, I don’t remember. It’s been at least a couple of years.

She’s a good person, don’t get me wrong, but man can she sing a tale of woe. She’s been singing it for over 20 fucking years.

I first met her back in high school, that’s how long I’ve known her. Most of my life now that I think about it. When she was younger, she had long blonde hair and she was petite with an ass that just went “pow!”

I miss the old her. She was hot. She was good looking. She had energy. Now days? Not so much.

She’s probably put on at least 50 pounds since back in the day. The Wall has not been too kind to her.

And she still keeps on singing that same old tired fucking song:

“I’m too tired to work out.”

“I need to go to the gym, but I don’t have enough time in my day.”

“I’m sick. I don’t feel good. I’ll go another time.”

Same old song and dance that she’s been singing and dancing to for over 20 years.

Her life is her fault. She doesn’t want to do the work. She wants to keep it on easy mode. She wants credit, but doesn’t want to actually earn it.

So she’s fat and has a bunch of health issues going on. And she’s 47 years old.

Bitch, you have the same amount of time in the day as everybody else. 24 hours.

How you spend it, how you use it, is up to you.

Do the work.

There are no shortcuts.

On another note, I’m getting ready to go to Portugal. I’m going to fly across the pond and see the sights. I’m looking forward to it.

I’m sure I’ll have things to talk about when I get back. Until then:

Do the fucking work.

 

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