Dear Self Improvement, “I’ll help you get unstuck/unfuck, Own Your Shit, Guy.
First off, let me say, if you’re reading this, it’s for you.
Secondly, I want to say that I’ve been following you for some time on social media. I’ve been reading your blogs and checking out your content on your website. I’ve also been watching your videos that you’ve been posting on Periscope and YouTube. Hell, I even signed up for your newsletter. All of the stuff that you’ve been posting and putting out there, I can’t even begin to imagine all of the blood, sweat, and tears that you’ve put into it. I even got really excited when you posted that you were getting ready to release your latest book/course/app. I couldn’t wait for the day when it was coming out. I even spread the word on my social media about your new product/service. I truly looked forward to it, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it. For some of you, I’ve already bought one of your book/course/apps or scheduled a consultation with you, and it was totally worth the time and the money. Thank you so much, I really appreciate what you are doing.
Which brings me to my concern today.
This last Sunday and all throughout this week, you’ve been posting about women getting conscripted into the military, and about how you don’t like it and that if it happens, you are going to pack up your family and leave the country.
Now, I want to make this perfectly clear, I don’t give a rat’s ass about your stance on women and selective service. I don’t care if you are pro or con about it. That’s not relevant to me. I don’t have children so I’m totally neutral when it comes to women and compulsive military service. This also isn’t about how patriotic or not you are. I don’t care about that either. That is also irrelevant to why I’m writing to you today.
Please, please pay close attention to what I’m going to say next:
You and I…
We both know..
That you’re lying.
You’re lying that your going to leave the country, if selective service becomes a thing that women have to do. You and I both damn well know that if it ever happens, you’re going to be doing your thing right where you are now. So why lie about it? Nevermind, that particular question is also irrelevant. It doesn’t matter why you are lying, just that you are.
I’m in a conundrum right now. You are either lying about leaving the country, or all of the things you have been saying about how we need to “Save the West,” and that “only in America can we have the opportunities to do what we are doing!” or “A Man’s Word is his bond!” is bullshit. As a side note, I noticed that immediately after you let the world know you were leaving, you turned around and talked about how great America is. I guess it’s a return to our regularly scheduled programming?
If what I’m saying is pissing you off, and you are asking yourself if I’m talking about you, you’re right. I’m talking about you.
So either you’re lying about leaving or all of your other messages are lies. Either way, something is off.
I can see you rolling your eyes and saying to yourself, “Hey man, everybody lies!” That is true. I’m not naive. You see, I’m used to being lied to. Mainstream media lies to me. My ex-wife lied to me. My job lies to me. But I can’t have it anymore. Not with you. I have to draw the line somewhere, so I’m drawing it at you.
“Who the fuck are you? And why should I care what you think?”
I’m glad you asked. Allow me to introduce myself:
A 47 year old man who just got divorced raped by my ex-wife. I’m trying to survive and make ends meet while I pay alimony and child support, and I’m trying not to eat a bullet. Can you help me out?
I’m a 30 something year old man who is trying to leave the corporate world and hopefully, ultimately start my own business and be my own boss, just like you. Can you help me out?
I’m a 20 something year old man who is vastly out of shape and I’m trying to turn myself into a “better version of me” (that’s one of your buzz phrases, like how I threw that in there?) Can you help me out?
I AM YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC.
I am your Customer.
I may not have the experiences, the wisdom, the knowledge, and the skills that you have. That’s why I follow you. That’s why I’m coming to you. I’m looking for help, can you help me out?
What I do have though, is years of experience of being a customer, of being a consumer. I also have a wallet with money in it and I’m willing to spend some of my money, if you’ll only help me out. But don’t lie to me. Don’t bullshit me.
I’m used to the media, feminists, the sick care industry, and even friends and family lying to me. But I can’t have that with you. Especially about something so trivial and so blatantly absurd as this. You leaving the country. Riiight…
Please understand, I’ve been following you for awhile now. we’ve even interacted a bit. We replied to each other on social media. You’ve answered some e-mails for me, which I was honored and flattered by. We are pretty aligned on most things, and I’ve even been able to say that I can respectfully agree to disagree with you on the few minor things that have come up, and I still, even to this day, think highly of you. If we were to meet in real life, I dare say, that you and I could very well end up as friends. Which is one of the reasons why this is bugging me so bad. I can tolerate a lot of things, but I can’t tolerate being lied to. Not by you.
“Dude, you are being harsh! Just let it go!”
You are right, I am being harsh and I can’t just let it go, and here’s why:
You are asking me for my money.
If you were just going off on your website, or your blog, or on social media, I don’t think I would even bat an eyelash. I would just think, “wow, he’s going off a lot about nothing,” and I would move on. But you are asking me for my money.
You claim that you are a business man as well as a guy that can help me improve my life. I know this because I saw it on your “About” page and on your social media profile. You put it there yourself. If you are a guy that wants to help me improve my life, how is lying to me accomplishing this?
If you are lying to me either about moving out of country, or all of your other messages that you’ve said before and after that one, what else have you lied to me about? What else are you going to lie to me about in the future?
This is what I have come up with to explain to myself about why you’ve said what you’ve said. Maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s something else entirely, but it’s what I’ve got for now:
- You got caught up in the outrage, you bought into it and drank a little too much of the Kool-Aid. I totally understand if that’s the case, hell, I’ve done it too. I totally understand that you aren’t perfect and everybody loses their shit from time to time. I really, truly hope that this is the case, but time will tell. I’m going to paying close attention to you from here on out.
- You are virtue signalling. You’re throwing on your “good guy badge.” If this is the case, you are no better than the SJW’s, progressives, and leftist idiots that you claim you despise. In fact, you are cut from the same cloth and are the other side of the same coin. I’m having a deja vu moment here, it reminds of something that happened before. Oh that’s right, it was right around the 2016 election and a bunch of liberal celebrity nutjobs got to wringing their hands and clutching their pearls, saying, “If he gets elected, I’m moving to Canada!” Hmmm… Sounds pretty familiar to me. I really hope this isn’t you.
- We are going to go down a real dark rabbit hole here. Did you just give me your confidence so that you could get mine? Are you just another bullshit artist? Are you just another slick snake-oil salesman looking to part me from my money? If so, your mask just slipped.
Maybe you need to read your book that you wrote or take the course that you created, maybe you need to unfuck yourself before you tell me how to do it.
I’m sure that your product or service is wonderful, I’m sure that it stands on its own. The problem isn’t your product or service, the problem is you.
Allow me to either refresh or remind you of some Cardinal Sales 101:
- You are not selling a product or service. You are selling you. Especially in today’s day and age of “Personal Branding.” You are your brand, you are your product right? So why lie to me?
- You need to gain the trust of your customer in order to sell them. Notice that I didn’t say that I have to like you. I’ve bought plenty of things over the years from people that I didn’t like, but I did trust them. Right now I don’t really trust you. Don’t get me wrong, that trust that you built and fostered with me? It’s not obliterated, but it’s definitely damaged. There are many people in the world that I like a lot, but I wouldn’t buy and haven’t bought a single thing from, and that’s because I don’t trust them.
My understanding of the concept of business is to make money. That’s what business is about, would you agree? So why bullshit me? You may win brownie points with your virtue signalling if that’s what you are doing, but you will lose the sale in the end. I’m just not buying into it.
On another note, I noticed that you got some guys to endorse your book/course/app/widget. That’s good solid business sense. Some of them are heavy hitters in the circles that you and I run in. They have a huge fan base. Solid move on your part.
There is a problem though. Not necessarily for you, but for your endorsers, your influencers. This seed of doubt that you’ve planted in me, it has a cascading effect. I gave you some of what I think may or may not have been going on earlier. Well, this applies to your influencers as well. I believe the term is called “Guilt by Association.”
You influencers and/or endorsers that are reading this, did you “vet your guy” properly? That’s the terminology isn’t? Vet? Did you get snowballed by him as well? Or are you virtue signalling too? Or worse, are you part of a ring of confidence artists? I’m not saying that anyone is any of these things, and god, I hope you are not. But when the seed of doubt is planted, the mind goes down some strange, dark rabbit holes.
My final thoughts (I promise) is this:
I want you to succeed. I like you. I want to trust you. The circles you and I run in, the manosphere, needs men like you. You are a breath of fresh air to many guys like me. But saying you’re going to leave when we both know you aren’t, come on.
Normally when I have a bad experience with a service or receive an inferior product, I don’t ask for a refund, I don’t go around writing negative reviews because I’ve already wasted good time and money, why should I waste anymore? Besides, most people don’t read or care about the reviews anyways. I just shrug my shoulders, roll my eyes, call it a learning lesson and I move on. I just won’t buy whatever it was from that particular individual or company again. And isn’t the goal of sustainable business to get your customer to come back and buy from you again? Isn’t that what business is about?
There is a Man that I follow on social media that I respect and think very highly of, and what I’m going to say here, I’m sure I’m taking it out of the context that he originally meant it, but it applies nonetheless.
You Are Stepping On Your Own Dick. Stop doing that. Shut up and take my money. But now you need to earn my trust back first. Demonstrate, don’t explicate.
Keep this in mind as well:
There are many men out there who are thinking these very things, I’m just the one that’s saying it. That’s how much I value you and what you bring to the table. That’s how much I think you are necessary and needed, and make no mistake, you are definitely needed. That’s how much I want you to succeed in your endeavors. Yes, I’m being harsh. Yes, I’m being hyper-critical of you. That’s because you are asking me for my money. And also because you are better than this. You are better than lying to me and bullshitting me.
Thank you for your time.